Three years ago this month, I became desperate to know, to really know, the joy of the Lord. I had found myself continually overwhelmed and overcome by the here-and-now, by my circumstances, unable to run the race set before me, being dragged down, down, down into doubt, depression, and despair. I was wilting and withering, and not thriving and blossoming as I knew I ought to be as a Christian.
At that time, through my reading and studying the Bible, as well as through other reading (including that of Jonathan Edwards and Martyn Lloyd-Jones ~ and Lord willing, in the near future, I'm hoping to blog on a portion from one of ML-J's books about this, and when I do, I'll add the link here... Just posted October 22: http://naphtali-deer.xanga.com/769016382/the-book-that-made-me-bristle-gods-blessed-goading-for-my-joy--his-glory/), I'd begun to see there was a supernatural joy available to all the children of God (no exceptions) that I'd not yet experienced – though I'll admit that for quite some time prior to that, I was skeptical about it, and I balked at the notion; I doubted and even argued that such a joy wasn't a real possibility for me due to my own personality (prone to depression and unhealthy introspection). I'd put myself in the very dangerous position of limiting and provoking Holy One of Israel (see Psalm 78).
To clarify, the type of joy I'm talking about here is a joy that can't be worked up and can't ever be conjured up, no matter how hard we may try; rather, it's a joy that comes down from above, as the Holy Spirit sovereignly descends upon the Holy Bible to make the doctrines found in the Word of God fire in the heart. However, though the gift is sovereign, we ourselves can't be passive about it, but must pursue it (pursue Him).
Romans 15:13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.Psalm 86:4 Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
In his book, "Joy Unspeakable," Martyn Lloyd-Jones wrote about three types of assurance that are available to the Christian (I blogged about that here and here, and I would encourage you to read both those posts.) As way of quick summary, the first two types of assurance are based on: 1) deductions we make from the Bible, and 2) examination of our lives. Now here's The Doctor explaining the third type of assurance:
But there is a third type of assurance, which is the highest, the most absolute and glorious, and which differs essentially from the other two. How? Like this. You notice, in the first two types of assurance, that what we are doing is to draw deductions, as we read the Scriptures, perhaps. We arrive at the assurance by a process of reading, understanding, self-examination or self-analysis. It is a deduction that we draw from the premises given; and it is right and true. But the glory of this third and highest form of assurance is that it is neither anything we do, nor any deduction that we draw, but an assurance that is given to us by the blessed Spirit himself.
On October 9, 2009, sitting in a coffee shop, I began to embrace the promises of God and to seek the face of God in earnest so I might experience Habakkuk 3 joy no matter what: no matter my circumstances, no matter my feelings, no matter what others might say about me or do to me, no matter the amount of fruit (or no fruit) in my ministry, etc. I was seeking to know and to experience joy in the Lord so I might be sustained to carry on and persevere in and through all God had in store for me. I was asking, seeking, and knocking for God-breathed joy such as that which the first century Church possessed (or should I say the joy which possessed them?!) – Habakkuk 3 joy which enabled the early Christians to rejoice and sing in hardship and persecution. I was seeking the joy of the Reformers who would not relent and sang in triumph as they were martyred, and the joy which the Scottish Covenanter Mrs. Durham exhibited (a portion of her story is recounted below).
At that time, I recorded some of my heart's burdens and desires in my post, the laborer's lamentation and affirmation, some of which was based on portions of Habakkuk 3. I concluded that post with these words:
Lord of the harvest, grow Your fruit in me first and foremost,
The sacrifice of praise, the fruit of my lips giving thanks to Your Name,
whether I see fruit on the vine or not.
My prayer on that day was the beginning of my series of letters on assurance and fighting for joy (though I'd not titled that blog as such).
Much to my amazement (God does do exceedingly above all we can ask or imagine, does He not?!), it was only a few days later, three years ago today, on October 14, 2009, as I was out walking, that I was surprised by a sense of God's joy that I'd never known prior to that time. I tried to described that moment and what led up to it in my 18th letter on assurance & fighting for joy (posted a couple weeks later on October 29).
If you are Christ's, know this: our God is good, and He is for us and not against us, and He wants to give His children good gifts: God Himself being the greatest Gift!
I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward... Genesis 15:1
... Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.... (See Psalm 73.)
Luke 11:1 And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. 2 And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth. 3 Give us day by day our daily bread. 4 And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. 5 And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; 6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? 7 And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. 8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. 9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? 12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Jesus died so we might have fellowship with God. By His blood He redeemed us and reconciled us to God.
I Peter 3:18 For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God...
That's one of my favorite verses in all of Scripture! Have you ever really considered the wonder of our being brought to God: that we were all sheep each gone to our own way, dead in our sins, children of disobedience who were under God's wrath and condemnation, eternally separated from God, we were without hope or power –– but while we were yet sinners, Jesus Christ suffered and died for His sheep, He became sin for us, He took the punishment we deserved, so we might become the righteousness of God in Him, that we might be brought into the one fold to sup with the Good Shepherd! The way to Eden and to the Tree of Life has been restored to all who believe in Jesus Christ! As Christians, we now have peace with God through out Lord Jesus Christ! Hallelujah!
However, it's far too easy for any of us to get so caught up in the Martha mentality of do, do, do. As a result, we don't take time to savor our relationship with God and to sit at Jesus' feet like Mary and seek to know Him. When was the last time you were lost in wonder, love, and praise over the love, mercy, and grace of God? Christianity in this day and age has been turned on its head. There are many, many exhortations for us to do good works (and of course, faith without works is dead), but there are pitifully few exhortations made from 21st century pulpits for us to follow in the way of the Psalmists: to pant, thirst, and long for the living God. Remember how Jesus Himself defined eternal life:
John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.
God wants us to know Him more and more, and to experience joy and peace in believing, so we might be able to rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory, and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God no matter what our flesh, the world, and the devil are screaming at us, no matter how incessantly they continue to taunt and tempt and tantalize us to throw up our hands and chuck it all! So many of us scurry around like Martha, and we end up burning out because we make our work the be-all and end-all, and we miss out on the one thing necessary. Instead, let's quiet ourselves in the presence of God and sit like Mary, and seek to eat and drink of Christ, so when we do go out to work, we'll be fortified and by God's glorious power, we will be able to stand with patience and longsuffering with joyfullness...
Colossians 1:9 For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness...
The world is full of grumblers and whiners. As Christians, we are strangers and pilgrims in this fallen world, and, in contrast to unbelievers, because we have the Spirit of God indwelling us, we are uniquely equipped to live above it all: to put off the self-centered, sinful spirit of grumbling and whining, and to put on Christ so we might rejoice in the Lord always, to receive perfect peace in tribulation and experience joy unspeakable in the midst of our trials. Our God is ready to supply all we need to according to His riches in glory. Do you know those riches? Do you seek them out in your Bible?
Paul's prayers for the churches included prayers that the eyes of their hearts might be opened to know the riches of our glorious inheritance (in addition to the Colossians 1 passage I cited, please see Ephesians 1:15-22 and 3:14-21). How do his prayers compare with your prayers? Jesus said that those who believe on Him already have eternal life. Yes, that life will be consummated in the Glory Everlasting, but my friends, we already have access to foretastes and intimations in this life. The apostle Paul wrote that we are already seated in heavenly places. May we consider our ways! Let us not be sluggish or slothful to open our Bibles and be in prayer, that we might more fully understand and embrace the privileges that are ours, and then to take hold of the great and precious promises, and like Jacob, to take hold of God and not let go until He blesses us, to strive with a holy violence to enter into and to enjoy in greater measure the inheritance that is already ours as children of God. Like Habakkuk, may we be able to bring glory to God as we shine in contrast to the world: resting rather than panicking in the day of trouble, and rejoicing in the Lord rather than falling into despondency – even as the vicious, cruel, and merciless Babylonian armies may be panting just around the corner, all primed to invade, sack, and devastate Jerusalem, and carry her people away into exile for 70 years!
In the first chapter of his first letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul wrote:
15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 16 However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. (NKJV)
I'd like to rephrase that a bit...
15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 16 However, for this reason I obtained JOY, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.
Like Paul, I consider myself the chief of sinners, and like Paul, I want to be a pattern to those of you who are (or will become) Christians, to show you that the power of God can do immeasurably above all we can ask or imagine: in this case, that God's gift of joy is part of His manifold mercies offered to all who are in Christ, and my prayer is that you might not remain downcast and waste your life grumbling and murmuring and doubting and despairing, but instead, that you might seek the Lord in earnest, so along with me, you too might begin to know and experience the joy God has for you, i.e. - to know and sup with Him who is exceeding Joy, which is part of your inheritance as His child; and that you might shine as a light in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. There is so much I could write on that last point (and I'm hoping to blog more on this in the future), but as you look at the salvation of God coming to God's people, and their joy bubbling up as a result, you'll find that joy goes out to and draws in all the nations (e.g. - see Isaiah 55:1-5, 12-13; Isaiah 61). In other words, our joy in God is holy fuel for evangelism and missions, it's all about gathering souls from every tribe, language, people and nation to worship God, which is God's ultimate purpose: Isaiah 43:21 This people have I formed for myself; they shall shew forth my praise.
I wrote the poem below as a tribute to the work God began in me three years ago, and as testimony to His steadfast love and His abounding grace pouring out to me, so I might be a witness to His never-failing faithfulness to His elect. Remember, God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him, and without faith it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6). Whosoever is thirsty, let him come to drink freely of the Living Water, to drink of our God, who is exceeding Joy!
Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Three Years Later: Dancing & Skipping with Mrs. Durham
Another anecdote, recorded by the same industrious collector, concerning this lady [Mrs. Durham] and two ministers, illustrates how galling and oppressive was the yoke of arbitrary and prelatic domination to the Presbyterians, and how ardently they longed for deliverance. Writing, in 1731, Wodrow says, “In the year 1685 or 1686, Mr. Samuel Arnot died at Edinburgh, after all the persecutions and sufferings he had gone through since Pentland, in much peace and joy. There was, generally, much company that came and saw him on his death bed. Among others, Mr. James Rowat, minister at Kilmarnock before the Restoration, came to see him, and, among other things, he asked Mr. Arnot if he had any hopes the Church of Scotland would get out from under this dark cloud she had been under for twenty-five years or thereby. The other answered he had, and he was assured she would. ‘Yea,’ added he, ‘I know more, and that is, that you shall live to see and partake of the church’s delivery.’ And so it came to pass. Mr. Rowat lived till 1690, or an year or two later, it may be, and saw that great work of God at the Revolution. Amongst others present when this was spoken, that good woman, Mrs. Durham, relict of Mr. Zachary Boyd and Mr. James Durham, was there, and she got up and said to Mr. Rowat, ‘Mr. James, I am younger than you, I hope I shall see the day of delivery as well as you,’ and she danced and skipped for joy; and so it came about. I was at her burial, at Glasgow, about the year 1692 or 1693.” [Wodrow’s Analecta, vol. iv., p, 285.]
PDF source: "Mrs. James Guthrie, Mrs. James Durham, and Mrs. John Carstairs" in "Ladies of the Covenant: Memoirs of Distinguished Scottish Female Characters" by Rev. James Anderson, emphasis mine. (HT: Iain Murray's sermon "Prayer and the Future - Isaiah 45" for the reference to Mrs. Durham.)
my deep concern for all the churches..."
(I Corinthians 11:28, NKJV)
Exodus 33:13
Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight,
shew me now thy way, that I may know thee,
that I may find grace in thy sight:
and consider that this nation is thy people.
"On My bosom, both night and day,
"My lamb, your weary head lay."
If I have found grace in Your sight
Send out Your truth and shine Your light
So I might sup with Heaven's Delight
Though my lot may never change
Through ev'ry trial, Your love remains
Covenant mercies sure to sustain
Through affliction, drought, deepest pain
River of Life, spring to sustain
Rend the heavens, pour down rain
If I have found grace in Your sight
Send out Your truth and shine Your light
So I might sup with Heaven's Delight
Grace abound, all-sufficient Supply
Faithful and True, You cannot lie
To my thirst, Living Water fly
Though the burden may never flee
Refresh me under Thy apple tree
Shine Your face, be gracious to me!
Lighten and brighten, be my health
Open the sluice of infinite wealth
I pant for Love Who must be felt!
If I have found grace in Your sight
Send out Your truth and shine Your light
So I might sup with Heaven's Delight
Though outward storm may not cease
Guard my heart and mind, Prince of Peace,
From anxious thoughts bring sweet release
Dew of heaven in the dry ruins
A glorious inheritance!
All Your paths drip with fatness!
To drink here of holy pleasures
Foretaste of delight unmeasured
By celestial love drawn, tethered
To dance by faith in the rubble
Sabbath in the day of trouble
O! Gladden my soul, Immanuel!
If I have found grace in Your sight
Send out Your truth and shine Your light
So I might sup with Heaven's Delight
Regard this saint, less than the least
In my Negeb, prepare a feast:
Joy in believing, perfect peace
On high hills, to skip and sing with joy
To all the nations, ev'ry girl and boy
My heart overflowing with holy joy
O soul, cast on Christ your burdens
Cast abroad Jesus' excellence
Spread in triumph Gospel fragrance
"Cast My Church," the LORD proclaims,
"On My bosom, both night and day
"My lamb, your weary head lay."
"Cast thy burden," the LORD proclaims,
"On My bosom, both night and day,
"My lamb, your weary head lay."
He shall feed his flock like a shepherd:
he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom...
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God,
the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
From Strong's Concordance: "make glad" = samach (saw-makh') a primitive root; probably to brighten up, i.e. (figuratively) be (causatively, make) blithe or gleesome:--cheer up, be (make) glad, (have, make) joy(-ful), be (make) merry, (cause to, make to) rejoice, X very.
John 7:37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. 38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. 39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Isaiah 55:1 Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. 2 Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. 3 Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David. 4 Behold, I have given him for a witness to the people, a leader and commander to the people. 5 Behold, thou shalt call a nation that thou knowest not, and nations that knew not thee shall run unto thee because of the LORD thy God, and for the Holy One of Israel; for he hath glorified thee.
I thank and praise my God that He was very gracious to my cries three years ago, and that He continues to be very gracious to me. Now, to be clear about this, I have had to continue to fight for joy all the time, I'd have to say that pretty much every day something from my own flesh, the world, or the devil tempts or provokes me so I might lapse and slide down, down, down into doubt, depression, and despair in the blink of an eye –– but the Lord has continued to be gracious to me time and time again, and, as I come to my senses, and confess my sins of doubt and fear and unbelief, and as I take my eyes off myself and my circumstances, and turn and seek God's face and ask Him once again to rejoice my soul, He never fails to surprise and refresh and undergird and thrill me over and over again with firm assurances from His Word, and on certain blessed occasions, He grants me a felt sense of His presence, and fills me with joy unspeakable and full of glory. O! To dance and skip for joy all my days – that is my desire! To dance and skip for joy even in the darkest, cloudiest, and most discouraging day, when all seems fruitless and hopeless, when all is crying out to me to quit! To have a Spirit-imparted, blessed assurance of the sovereignty, love, goodness, mercy, grace, and glory of God, so I might be strengthened to rejoice at the days to come like Margaret Durham. My friends, never forget: we have not because we ask not! Is anything too hard for the God of all flesh? As our days, so shall our strength be! As our days, so shall our joy be! The veil has been opened, and through the Spirit we now free to dance from grace to grace, and skip from glory to glory. Like Caleb's daughter Achsah (Joshua 15; Judges 1), let us be importunate and ask, seek, and knock for the blessing, so we too might receive the upper and lower springs, to be strengthened by the Lord to walk upon our high places!
(Matthew Henry, on Psalm 114)
Habakkuk 3
16 When I heard, my belly trembled; my lips quivered at the voice: rottenness entered into my bones, and I trembled in myself, that I might rest in the day of trouble: when he cometh up unto the people, he will invade them with his troops.
17 Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: 18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. 19 The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.
This is the LORD'S doing; it is marvellous in our eyes...
(in my eyes!)
Here are links to some of the other letters on assurance and fighting for joy which I've written. You can access the rest here: http://naphtali-deer.xanga.com/tags/assuranceandjoy/ (Sometimes Xanga is quirky, and you might need to add a page # onto the end of that web link to access all the pages, e.g. http://naphtali-deer.xanga.com/tags/assuranceandjoy/15 ). If you have further questions, please comment below and/or message me. Please note: if you're struggling with assurance over forgiveness of sins and cleansing from guilt, please see my posts here: http://naphtali-deer.xanga.com/704329622/links-to-my-series-dealing-with-past-sins--guilt/.
- Letter 1 on assurance and fighting for joy
- Letter 3 on assurance and fighting for joy (Jesus' desire vs. Satan's desire)
- Letter 10 on assurance and fighting for joy (joy is for ALL!)
- Letter 13 on assurance and fighting for joy (strengthened for endurance and patience with joy)
- Letter 15 on assurance and fighting for joy (Joy is a gift of God, more than a feeling)
- Letter 16 on assurance and fighting for joy (our prayers, His wise denials and joy)
- Letter 18 on assurance and fighting for joy (my testimony of joy)
- "give me also springs of water" - Will you be an Achsah? (letter 66 on assurance & fighting for joy)
- Will you finish your course with joy? (Acts 20:24) - letter 71 on assurance & joy
- Christian, don't waste your life whining - letter 72 on assurance & joy
- a conversation with Jesus about misplaced joy ("do not rejoice in this" - letter 73 on joy)
- Doubting one, do you know Me as a rewarder? | letter 78 on assurance & fighting for joy
- Are you a radiant Christian or a drunken old woman? (letter 82 on assurance & fighting for joy)
- asking a hard thing (letter 84 on assurance & fighting for joy)
- Are you keeping calm & carrying on? Do you react or respond? ~ Isaiah 7:1-9 - letter 112
- The flags unfurled ... Christ's eternal banner | Lloyd-Jones ~ a third type of assurance - letter 118
- disappointment ~ appointment | letter 119 on assurance & fighting for joy
- Who wants candles when he has the sun?" ~ Edward Payson | letter 124 on assurance & joy
- five years ago ~ for your joy (AND an inheritance | Richard Sibbes & the Sealing of the Spirit) ~ Letter 136
- "Your works I know, your toil, your pain" (Labor Day reflections) | letter 146 on fighting for joy
Other related posts:
- birthday reflection: "the great & glorious possibilities" ~ "Now therefore, give me this mountain"
- Advent #1 WHY HAS JESUS COME? that we might have life & life more abundantly
- Advent # 5 WHY HAS JESUS COME? So we might draw near to God | Even a Vapor
- Advent # 7 WHY HAS JESUS COME? So we might be satisfied with Him
- don't waste your new year ~ teach us, satisfy us, make us glad (Psalm 90:12-15)
- As a deer pants ... Is your soul panting for God? (Psalms 42 & 43)
- Embittered, pricked in heart? Go into the sanctuary of God (Psalm 73)
- postcards from England: are we excited over a dead fish and a car wreck?
- The Christian should not just believe the truth, and know it..." | the Father's assurance
- update w/ excerpt: Lloyd-Jones' sermons on the role of experience in Christianity
More on the Persecution in Scotland:
- The Covenanters: The Fifty Years Struggle: 1638-1688
- Covenanter on Wikipedia
- Who Were the Covenanters
- The Covenanters - Index
- The Great Ejection: English Religious Laws 1660-1728
- Ladies of the Covenant: Memoirs of Distinguished Scottish Female Characters by Rev. James Anderson
Scripture quotations unless otherwise indicated are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible. Emphasis mine.
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Photo credits:
Work found at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Coffee_cup.jpg / CC BY-SA 3.0
I edited the work found at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Lord_is_my_Good_Shepherd.jpg / ((PD-Art|PD-old-70}}
Work found at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mineral_Water_,_Tian_,_Azna.jpg / CC BY-SA 3.0
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