Exodus 17:1  And all the congregation of the children of Israel journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys, according to the commandment of the LORD, and pitched in Rephidim: and there was no water for the people to drink. 2  Wherefore the people did chide with Moses, and said, Give us water that we may drink. And Moses said unto them, Why chide ye with me? wherefore do ye tempt the LORD? 3  And the people thirsted there for water; and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherefore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst? 4  And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, What shall I do unto this people? they be almost ready to stone me. 5  And the LORD said unto Moses, Go on before the people, and take with thee of the elders of Israel; and thy rod, wherewith thou smotest the river, take in thine hand, and go. 6  Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb; and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel. 7  And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the LORD, saying, Is the LORD among us, or not?

I was recently reading in Exodus 17 along with Matthew Henry's commentary, and was actually looking ahead and looking forward to reading the last portion of the chapter, with Moses, Aaron and Hur, with its application to prayer, but I found myself rereading and reflecting on the first portion, and these words struck me:

thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink.

Christianity is a blessed drinking!

"that the people may drink" -- Consider that! Consider Him! Who are we fallen mortals to deserve a single drop from a holy, eternal God? Ah! But the Rock was struck for us! Jesus Christ became sin for us. He was struck in our place, to bear the wrath of God which we deserved, so all who believe on Him might receive His perfect righteousness and be reconciled to God. Jesus Christ received the Holy Spirit without measure; He has been anointed with the oil of gladness above His companions! Christian, consider that our God is concerned about our supply, and how wholly dependent we are on Him for every single drink.

"that the people may drink!" – Consider the Creator God who sits upon the circle of the earth and who dwells in Light Inaccessible: He is ready and able and desiring to pour out of His fullness grace upon grace to poor, wretched, miserable sinners like us through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ! What unfathomable kindness He demonstrates toward us!

"there shall come water out of HIM!" – Just like these Israelites, we have no other recourse –– no other true and living supply is anywhere to be found. Any and all other sources will leave us thirsty and shriveling up –– but as we drink of Christ, we shall "never thirst." Though earthly supplies abound and seek to allure us with their siren songs, not one can truthfully make such an audacious claim.

My dear friends, if you remember nothing else from my blogging here, my prayer is that you might be enabled to remember this:

Christianity is a drinking! –– It is a blessed drinking of Jesus Christ for eternal life, unadulterated truth, full satisfaction, unrivaled love, unwavering faithfulness, holy pleasures, incomparable happiness, everlasting consolation, matchless beauty, unparalleled strength, purest refreshment, faultless contentment, perfect peace, Sabbath rest, and exceeding joy! ~ John 7:37-39, Psalm 16:11, Psalm 36:7-9, Psalm 65:3-5, Isaiah 55:1-9, John 4:1-26, Psalm 146, etc.... and oh, yes, we can't forget the Song of Solomon... and please don't demean the Lord Jesus Christ or His Holy Word by seeing that book as merely a treatise on human marriage and human sexuality!

the hidden Drink

The devil hides the truth from our eyes that Christianity is a blessed drinking, does he not? Remember he is a liar and the father of lies. He wants us to believe that the life in Christ is anything but all-satisfying and all-surpassing pleasure to our souls. He wants Christ's yoke to appear bitter, heavy, and oppressive –– while Christ Himself tells us that His yoke is easy and His burden light, and in Him we will find everlasting rest and true freedom for our souls. We too easily forget the Scripture references which liken our union with Christ to the great supper, a marriage feast, a banqueting table, a homecoming celebration, a banner of love, a river of life, etc.!

Isaiah 25:6  And in this mountain shall the LORD of hosts make unto all people a feast of fat things, a feast of wines on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined.

Joel 3:18  And it shall come to pass in that day, that the mountains shall drop down new wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the rivers of Judah shall flow with waters, and a fountain shall come forth of the house of the LORD, and shall water the valley of Shittim.

And, in God's mysterious and inscrutable workings, God Himself hides this truth from us as well ~ Matt. 11:25-27. There is no revealing of what is hidden apart from the gracious working of His Holy Spirit (e.g. - see I Cor. 2; II Cor. 4:6).

When it's hid from our eyes, it's hid from our hearts! As our pastor has continued preaching through the book of Colossians, I've continued to consider those words "riches" and "treasures" found in chapters 1 and 2 (Col. 1:27; 2:2-3, and elsewhere in the Scripture ~ Eph. 1:7, 18; 3:8) ... and then was reminded of this spiritual reality: "in whom are HID..." (Col. 2:3  In whom [Christ] are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.). No wonder the apostle Paul prayed for the eyes of our hearts to be opened and enlightened so we might taste and see and savor the treasure of this holy, all-surpassing, all-satisfying, thirst-slaking Drink! (Eph. 1:18) And we need to do so likewise! I pray that for myself, and I pray that for you as well  –– so we might be able to sing with Isaac Watts in this life, in the here and now...

Religion never was designed,
To make our pleasures less...

The men of grace have found,
Glory begun below.
Celestial fruits on earthly ground
Celestial fruits on earthly ground
From faith and hope may grow,
From faith and hope may grow.

The hill of Zion yields
A thousand sacred sweets
Before we reach the heav’nly fields,
Before we reach the heav’nly fields,
Or walk the golden streets,
Or walk the golden streets.

(From Isaac Watts' "We're Marching to Zion")

In his exposition of Colossians ¹, John Davenant writes of the word hidden...

By which word is intimated, that what is precious and magnificent in Christ, or the Gospel of Christ, is not conspicuous, or directly meets the eyes of carnal men; but is so concealed, that it is discovered only by those to whom God has given a quick sight, i.e.  spiritual eyes to see. So Christ himself said, Matt xi. 25.  I thank thee, O Father, that thou hast hidden, &c. (360)

In making application of that truth, Davenant exhorts us to ...

... labour and toil in acquiring this treasure,. For this treasure is not placed in open view, it is hidden. We must not confide in our own industry or discernment; but diligently intreat God, that he would quicken our sight, and permit this hidden treasure to be seen by us: Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law, Ps. cxix.18. (361)

For what are you laboring and toiling? Are you pleading with God to quicken your sight so you might begin to behold in greater measure the treasure that Christ is, so you might esteem Him and glory in Him as you ought, and savor and enjoy Him as He intends? May we not be in the position of the older son who dutifully served in his father's house for years, and yet lacked the understanding that all that his father had was already his:  sadly, he never knew there was a feast available for him! Or, as John Elias put it:

There are many in the church that never had a kid - that never had a small portion of spiritual food to make merry - that know nothing of the spiritual feasts that are enjoyed on the return of prodigals!

May God be merciful and gracious to us, and quicken our sight and open our eyes to this treasure, so we might not be found wanting and guilty of the sin Israel was committing in the days of Jeremiah.

Jeremiah 2:13  For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.

Have you ever considered that your forsaking Christ and drinking elsewhere is evil in the sight of God? As we forsake Him and hew out broken cisterns, we are not only robbing God of due glory, but we are also robbing our own souls of the wellspring of true joy and abundant life. May God have mercy upon us and enhance our hunger and thirst for Him alone... and show us the great folly and the evil in forsaking Him and drinking anywhere else. May God diminish our desire for "puddle water," so we might drink deeper and deeper of the "rock-water" –– God's spiritual delights.

Are you drinking puddle-water or rock-water?

From Matthew Henry's Complete Commentary on Exodus 17...

"Let this [example in Exodus 17] direct us to live in a dependence... Upon Christ's grace: That rock was Christ, 1 Cor. x. 4. The graces and comforts of the Spirit are compared to rivers of living water, John vii. 38, 39; iv. 14. These flow from Christ, who is the rock smitten by the law of Moses, for he was made under the law. Nothing will supply the needs, and satisfy the desires, of a soul, but water out of this rock, this fountain opened.

The pleasures of sense are puddle-water;...

spiritual delights are rock-water, so pure, so clear, so refreshing--rivers of pleasure."

May God open our eyes to the spiritual reality that anything or anyone else apart from Christ is but puddle-water, so we might fly to His bosom to drink of the rock-water!

The Scottish divine Samuel Rutherford (1600-1661) repeatedly drank of that rock-water. He drank abundantly of Jesus Christ . . . even as he was banished and exiled from his flock in Anwoth for a period of almost two years in Aberdeen. Rutherford's letters written from Aberdeen are the testimony of a soul overflowing with Living Water. For example, in Letter LXXVI.—To Robert Gordon of Knockbrex, he writes:

"How blind are my adversaries,
who sent me to a banqueting-house,
to a house of wine,
to the lovely feasts of my lovely Lord Jesus,
and not to a prison, or place of exile!"

After this, Rutherford's exultation in Christ arises even higher!

"Why should I smother my Husband’s honesty, or sin against
His love, or be a niggard in giving out to others what I get for nothing?"

That type of drinking is nothing less than that which the Lord Jesus Christ describes in John 7:

37  In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. 38  He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. 39  (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)

Many of you may have professed a belief in Jesus Christ...
Many of you may have thought you came to Jesus Christ...

BUT...

Have you believed on Him in the sense in which Jesus speaks?
Have you come to Him in the sense in which Jesus speaks?
Have you drunk of Him in the sense in which Jesus speaks?
Have you believed on Him after the manner of Samuel Rutherford?
Have you drunk of Jesus Christ after the manner of Samuel Rutherford?
Are rivers of living water flowing out of you?
Are you drinking puddle-water or rock-water?

(My friends, after reading Rutherford's words, need you ask me why I repeatedly urge you to be reading Church history and Christian biography in addition to the Bible?!)

Is your drinking superlative: are you drinking abundantly / drunk with love / tipsy?

At the end of Song of Solomon 5:1, we read this exhortation from the Beloved:

 drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. (KJV)

Eat, friends, drink,
and be drunk with love! (ESV)

"Drink" and "drink" in the KJV, and "drink" and "drunk" in the ESV. There's a repetition there, so of course, that's important. But there's something else to notice:  those two words are actually two different Hebrew words (information below taken from Strong's Concordance).

The first word is shathah (8354) shaw-thaw' :  a primitive root; to imbibe (literally or figuratively):--X assuredly, banquet, X certainly, drink(-er, -ing), drunk (X -ard), surely.

The second word intrigued and excited me:  shakar (7937) shaw-kar':  a primitive root; to become tipsy; in a qualified sense, to satiate with a stimulating drink or (figuratively) influence:--(be filled with) drink (abundantly), (be, make) drunk(-en), be merry. (Superlative of 8248, which is shaqah  shaw-kaw' a primitive root; to quaff, i.e. (causatively) to irrigate or furnish a potion to:--cause to (give, give to, let, make to) drink, drown, moisten, water.

My emphasis here is that Jesus is calling on His own not to drink of Him in a superficial, surface, shallow, or cursory sense –– but rather in an intensive, ever-deepening, and fuller and fuller sense –– i.e. - in a superlative way! When it comes to Christ and the things of Christ, let us do nothing halfway or in a mediocre manner! Can we say He is our Beloved if our drinking is lethargic and careless and half-hearted?

Are we drinking of Christ in such a way that we might be considered "drunk with love?" Are we "tipsy," if you will excuse the word –– but when it comes to Christ, is there any restriction on how much, how zealously, or how fervently we should be drinking of Him?

Is that not what was happening to the 120 disciples on the day of Pentecost when they were accused by some of being drunk with new wine (Acts 2:13)? Would anyone accuse you (would anyone accuse me) of being drunk with new wine in terms of your (my) affections toward the Lord Jesus Christ and His Gospel? In response to the accusation of drunkenness, Peter explained that the bride of Christ had indeed drunk deeply, and she had indeed become drunk – but not as the world knows drunkenness!

14  But Peter, standing up with the eleven, lifted up his voice, and said unto them, Ye men of Judæa, and all ye that dwell at Jerusalem, be this known unto you, and hearken to my words: 15  For these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day. 16  But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel; 17  And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: 18  And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy: 19  And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke: 20  The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before that great and notable day of the Lord come: 21  And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Should there be any call for moderation in this spiritual drinking? God forbid! And yet in contrast, how often are we found with higher affections for the puddle-water than the rock-water?! God forgive us for Jesus' sake!

"Persons need not and ought not to set any bounds to their spiritual and gracious appetites." ~ Jonathan Edwards

Do we see our great lack in contrast to that of the early Church? Is Graham Scroggie's 20th century assessment not valid today?

"So many Christians live on the right side of Easter but on the wrong side of Pentecost."

If we were to honestly look at ourselves, must we not say with Oswald Chambers:

"But I knew that if what I had was all the Christianity there was, the thing was a fraud."

O! For grace that we might get down on our knees and pray for the Holy Spirit to descend and to baptize us afresh... not that we should be drunk with wine, but rather that we might be drunk with Christ's love, filled to overflowing with His Spirit!

We might render the Scripture in Song of Solomon as if the heavenly Bridegroom were wooing and exhorting His bride with words such as:

My bride, don't be deceived. Don't be satisfied with what you've already drunk of Me, but press in and press on and press ever-upward to know Me –– to experience a more abundant drinking of Me! O! My friends, don't be sluggish in your drinking of Me! I long for you to be diligent in your drinking of My rock-water, so you might drunk with My love, and come to see the puddle-water for what it really is! Show your profession of faith to be genuine –– drink! drink abundantly! drink superlatively! drink to the full! be drunk with love! –– so that rivers of living water bubble up from within you, and overflow out of you into a dry and thirsty world! So shall you be My witnesses!

Are we striving to drink abundantly of Jesus Christ, to be drunk with His love? Are we seeking to be found drinking of Christ in a superlative manner – or are we in mad pursuit of puddle-water? Have we ever drunk of that rock-water, of Jesus Christ, in such a way that during manifold trials and temptations (exiled like Rutherford or in prison like Paul & Silas), we have found there are rivers of living water rejoicing our souls, causing us to be filled up and bubbling over with joy unspeakable and full of glory? (See I Peter 1:3-9.)

"Does not a person who rejoices in the Lord and sings to Him exuberantly seem like a person who is drunk? I like this kind of intoxication. The Spirit of God is both drink and light” ~ Saint Augustine

our drinking is for the praise of God and the joy of the nations

Reading John 7:37-39, we have seen how Jesus Christ Himself equated believing with coming and with drinking (see also John 6), but not merely drinking, but a quality of drinking that causes us to be overflowing with the Holy Ghost! We must remember that God's people are always blessed to be a blessing. Our drinking of Christ is intended not only for our own soul's benefit, but also for the benefit others. Freely we have received, freely we are to give...

If we are hewing broken cisterns, if we drinking of dead puddle-water –– what life can flow out to dead world?

If we are hewing broken cisterns, if we are drinking of dead puddle-water –– how can the good news of great joy flow out of us to a lost world?

In contrast, should we not find ourselves in the position of the Psalmist (Psalm 45)?

1  My heart is inditing a good matter:
 I speak of the things which I have made touching the king:
my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
 2  Thou art fairer than the children of men:
grace is poured into thy lips:
therefore God hath blessed thee for ever...
17  I will make thy name to be remembered in all generations:
therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever. (KJV)

1  My heart overflows with a pleasing theme;
I address my verses to the king;
my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe.
2  You are the most handsome of the sons of men;
grace is poured upon your lips;
therefore God has blessed you forever...
17  I will cause your name to be remembered in all generations;
therefore nations will praise you forever and ever. (ESV)

In verse 1, the Hebrew word for "inditing" or "overflows" means to gush. That's exactly what the Lord Jesus Christ was speaking of in John 7! Just as the Father sent Jesus into this world, Jesus sends us out to be His witnesses in this world –– but we can only gush the Gospel through the power of His Holy Spirit (Luke 24:44-49; Acts 1:5-8). We read in Psalm 4 how the world is crying out, "Who will show us any good?" As we are seeking to be drinking more and more deeply of Christ, we can trust that God's Spirit will fill us so we might overflow with the Gospel of Jesus Christ –– the Good News of great joy for all the peoples.

Isaiah 52:7  How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!

If you look through the Bible, you'll find this testimony to the nations is expected as part of the supernatural outflow of the people of God. Once again in Psalm 40, notice the progression... the new song is given by God, praise is offered up to God, and testimony is presented to the nations.

1  I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. 2  He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. 3  And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.

1  I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2  He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3  He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.

(See also Psalms 67 & 96; Isaiah 55:1-9; Isaiah 60 and 61.)

O! that God might quicken our sight, sanctify our thirst, and pour out upon His Church a fresh effusion of His Holy Spirit, so we might be filled with praise to our God, and be considered drunk with wine, as were the 120 on the Day of Pentecost... that we might show ourselves to be the bride of Christ, crying out with all sincerity by the power of the Holy Spirit of God this invitation to all the nations:

Revelation 22:17  And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

 ² "John Elias: Life, Letters and Essays" by Edward Morgan (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 1973, revised edition published in one volume), 139. (Please see my post here.)

Scripture quotations unless otherwise indicated and marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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(Letter 163 in my series of posts on assurance and fighting for joy...)

Yesterday @TheXangaTeam announced they're going to a paid blogging platform, and that there is a possibility that Xanga may be shutting down for good after July 15 (link).
 
Many thoughts went through my head, the primary one being that I really wanted to have a publicly saved record of what I'd written here in case Xanga does end up shutting its doors for good. I do have all the archives of my blogs downloaded onto my laptop, so that's not really the issue. I started blogging at this site in 2007, and since then I added a couple more blogs...

• this site (http://napthali_deer.xanga.com), opened 2/12/2007, with 1344 public posts.
• tent of meeting (http://tent_of_meeting.xanga.com), opened 3/28/2009, with 204 public posts.
• deerlife (http://deerlife.xanga.com), opened 3/14/2010, with 70 public posts.

If you do the math, that's 1618 public posts, not including this one. Now, granted, as I reread a lot of my first posts here, I squirm, as I had been barely on the edge of and just beginning to dip my toes into the vast and glorious ocean of the doctrines of grace (a.k.a. Calvinism) –– but now I've taken the full plunge! But I have decided to keep all my posts as I had first written them, as they are for a record of the journey God has had me on.

In light of the Xanga announcement yesterday, I could see I was beginning to react out of my flesh, rather than respond in God's Spirit, and I knew I wasn't in a very good place at all –– far from it! I was becoming fearful, worried, upset, and anxious. I was quickly sliding down into that noxious place of grumbling, murmuring, and whining –- headed full-steam down a path very far away from exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit!

I went for a walk yesterday afternoon and tried to listen to some sermons to numb and distract myself, to escape and avoid the circumstance that was looming in front of me –– and in a vain and futile attempt to avoid looking at my own deceitful and desperately wicked heart.

As I was walking, I was chewing on the sovereignty of God in permitting this to happen: for God to lead me here to Xanga and then to lead me to the possibility that all I've written here could be snuffed out very soon...

Then, in His merciful kindness, the Hound of Heaven came down that path pursuing me (Psalm 23:6) and began to shake me and bring me back to my senses with these verses from Colossians 1:

15  He [the Lord Jesus Christ] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17  And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18  And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. (ESV)

15 He [the Lord Jesus Christ] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.

God created Xanga. Xanga was created through Him and for Him. And He was and is before all things, including Xanga, and in Him Xanga has held together together. Why?

No matter what's happening here in this little corner of the world known as Xanga, the Lord Jesus Christ will have the preeminence. Xanga or no Xanga –– in spite of all appearances –– the Lord Jesus Christ IS going to get the preeminence! (God's sovereignty continues to be my sanity!)

In Isaiah 63:7-14, there's a recounting of God's deliverance of Israel from Egypt, and we read of God's purposes there:

God's thoughts and God's ways are higher than ours.... inscrutable and unsearchable and unfathomable! Whenever we ... whenever I whine and complain, I am attempting to be His counselor! God, be merciful to me, a sinner!

Romans 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!

34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has become His counselor?”
35 “Or who has first given to Him
And it shall be repaid to him?”
36 For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.

God's desire is that His name might be displayed and made everlasting and glorious, that He alone might receive glory forever and ever –– or, as the apostle Paul writes in Colossians 1, that the Lord Jesus Christ might be preeminent.

All things (Xanga's continuing OR closing) are heading toward this one great and glorious and wonderful end (in truth, it's just a beginning!):

Philippians 2:9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Revelation 5:8 Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9 And they sang a new song, saying:

“You are worthy to take the scroll,
And to open its seals;
For You were slain,
And have redeemed us to God by Your blood
Out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation,
10 And have made us kings and priests to our God;
And we shall reign on the earth.”

11 Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, 12 saying with a loud voice:

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”

13 And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying:

“Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne,
And to the Lamb, forever and ever!”

14 Then the four living creatures said, “Amen!” And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshiped Him who lives forever and ever.

And everything (Xanga's continuance or Xanga's closing) has been foreordained with that end in mind!

In the meantime, as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, I am to walk worthy of God's calling... no matter what happens ... whether there will be any Xanga after July 15 or not...

And then I was brought back to these earlier verses in Colossians 1, and I was chastened, for I could see how desperately short I was falling:

9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy...

I WASN'T walking with joy, and I hated that, and I despised myself for that... particularly because of how much I have tasted and seen God's goodness –– how much God has shown Himself to me and has continued to impress His mercy, love, grace and care upon me in so many wonderful ways, pouring out grace upon grace upon grace; and particularly as I've exhorted others that the joy of the Lord is available to all believers (Psalm 86:4), and even how I had just spoken of those verses in Colossians 1 to a friend the night before! ... I was humbled as I saw how very weak I still am, and how faulty and ill-formed my foundation of faith in Jesus Christ still is, and how wholly reliant I must always be on His strengthening and glorious power, and how constant in prayer I must be for His strengthening and glorious power, so I might rejoice in the Lord always, to shine as a light in this dark world, to the praise of His glorious grace!

Unlike the pilgrims scattered abroad, to whom Peter was writing, in my current trial, I was NOT rejoicing with joy inexpressible and full of glory (I Peter 1:3-9). But thanks be to God for His manifold mercies and His kindness in Jesus Christ –– He continues to stretch His hands out to a disobedient and contrary child such as myself, and leads me to repentance through His Holy Spirit through His Holy Word –– which at that point was continuing to pierce and discern and cut deeper and deeper and deeper ... (Job 5:17 Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects; Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty. 18 For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole.)

Hebrews 4:11 Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. 12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

After having been reminded of God's sovereignty over all things for the preeminence of the Lord Jesus Christ, and my lack of joy due to my not resting in Christ as I ought –– on top of all that, the story of the fire that burned up years of William Carey's (1761-1834) work was brought to mind. I was already familiar with this event, but I recently heard about it again in John Piper's sermon "The Lord Stood By Me . . . That All the Nations Might Hear,"  which I'd listened to a couple weeks ago:

William Carey, the father of modern missions left for India from England in 1793 and never came home. He labored 40 years without a furlough. He lost two of his three wives in death. When he had a fever they attached 110 leeches to his thigh. And on March 11, 1812—after almost 20 years of work—a fire broke out and destroyed years of irreplaceable work. The draft of the great polyglot dictionary. The Sikh and Telugu grammars. Ten version [sic] of Bible that had been going through the press. The translation of the Ramayana which he and his partners had been working on for six years.

Carey was out of town in Calcutta. When Marshman told him tears filled his eyes, and later he said,

In one short evening the labours of years are consumed. How unsearchable are the ways of God! I had lately brought some things to the utmost of perfection of which they seemed capable, and contemplated the missionary establishment with perhaps too much self-congratulation. The Lord has laid me low, that I may look more simply to him (Mary Drewry, William Carey: A Biography, p. 154).

Source: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/the-lord-stood-by-me-that-all-the-nations-might-hear / By John Piper. ©2013 Desiring God Foundation. Website: desiringGod.org

When I thought of my blogging in comparison to twenty years of Carey's (and the other missionaries') work in frontier missions, there's really no comparison at all! When I thought of the fact that I have full archives of all my blogs sitting safely in the memory of my laptop (as well as in the time machine backup), there's no comparison at all! And with that, I could see how weak and despicable and unprepared for any true suffering I really was.... And, I could also see how I am too prone to much self-congratulation, and how quickly I can forget that anything I write here of any worth, i.e. - anything that will withstand the fire of God's judgment – is all of Him, and it is all to His praise, honor, and glory alone ~ e.g. - Psalm 115:1; Isaiah 26:12; I Cor. 3:7; John 15:1-8.

At that point, as I considered the fire that consumed years and years of Carey's work, more Scripture (this time from Hebrews 10), was brought to mind to show me once more how I was not resting in Christ as I should have been. This commendation of the Jewish Christians was in such marked contrast to my own state:

I was NOT joyfully accepting the potential plundering of my goods (of my blog writings). I had been too easily been tossed about for I had lost sight of the better and enduring possession -- a knowledge of God Himself through the Lord Jesus Christ!

Holy God, forgive me for hardening my heart and not entering into Your rest. Thank You that Your goodness and mercy pursued me even to the pig sty of my own making, and Your kindness brought me back to my senses and to repentance! Grant me an increased sight and taste of Your glorious and all-surpassing riches. Strengthen me by Your Word and Your Holy Spirit, so that no matter my circumstances (Xanga or no Xanga), I might pray without ceasing and be diligent to enter Your rest, to walk with patience and longsuffering with joyfulness, that I might joyfully accept the plundering of my goods as I more fully and firmly embrace and enjoy You alone as the better and enduring possession, and find everlasting rest, durable peace, strong consolation, unspeakable joy, and unsearchable riches, and an incorruptible inheritance in You alone, even as I walk as a pilgrim here in this uncertain, turbulent, and stormy world. Hallelujah! What a Savior! Gracious God, thank you for laying me low like William Carey, that I may look more simply to You!

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.