November 9, 2010

• holy ambition for husbands (so your wife's joy might be full) | letter 89 on assurance & joy

  
  About this post . . .

  Yesterday GreekPhysique (John) pulsed:

  Spotted my work crush again. Would you ever date anyone you met at work? I kind of think no for myself.

  I commented there:

  Heh. Heh. I met my husband at grad. school. We were teaching assistants together. We got engaged 28 years ago tomorrow.

  
  I'd already had this post in the works and decided to finish it up to commemorate the date of our engagement 28 years ago today.

  In my post "wives, your husband is not your Husband," I wrote about the temptation of wives to make idols out of their husbands.

  Today I'd like us to consider (briefly) one of the main responsibilities of husbands to their wives.

  Let's see what the heavenly Husbandman, our holy Father, does for us, the branches:

  John 15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. 2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. 3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. 5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

  

  
  6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. 8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. 9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. 10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. 11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

  Now, let's consider what Jesus Christ, our Husband, does for His bride, the Church:

  Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

  And finally consider the Holy Spirit's work in believers:

  I Peter 1:2 Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.

  Philippians 2:12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. 13  For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
  
  Titus 3:4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, 5  Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost...

  God's love for and God's work in believers is all about His cultivating us and conforming us into the image of Christ: refining, reforming, purifying, purging and cleansing us so we might be holy and bear fruit, much fruit, lasting fruit, to do of His good pleasure for His glory, for His joy and for our joy.

  Isn't that exactly what husbands ought to be doing for their wives? Shouldn't husbands be loving their wives sacrificially – with the intent that they be growing in Christ-likeness? (No, I am not saying husbands should usurp the role of the Holy Spirit, but they certainly should be working in concert with Him.)

  Romans 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29  For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

  So often we look at Romans 8:28, but we conveniently forget about verse 29: we are predestinated to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.

  Many of us wives seek after and settle for the earthly gifts our husbands can give us: chocolate, clothing, flowers, perfume, jewelry, meals out, vacations, nights out on the town, etc., etc., but how often do we pray for that our husbands would be God's instruments to be used to help conform us into Christ's image? No, there's nothing wrong with those other things in and of themselves, and yes, I do enjoy many of those (well, actually, a good book, a little Crowder and a trip to just about anyplace with a jacuzzi work for me ), but let's ask God to give us eyes to see our marriages and our husbands through God's eyes and seek after and treasure what will be of benefit to our souls for eternity. I mean, where are the chocolate and flowers I received on our last anniversary? They're gone. We're here on earth being fitted for eternity. We're here on earth to help other souls to be fitted for eternity. Let's ask God to help us to keep setting our minds on things above, those things that make for fullness of joy in our souls (and others' souls).

  I am praying that those men who are already married (or those who hope to be married one day) would see the awesome privilege and responsibility you have here, and that God would give you grace to embrace this holy ambition for your lives, so you and your wife would be partakers together of Christ's holiness and joy.

  * * *

  Holy God, Every good and perfect gift comes from You. Thank You for giving me a husband who takes his responsibility to husband me seriously. Thank You for giving him a holy ambition to husband me for my joy and for Your glory.

  * * *

  
  Thank you, dear, for continuing to husband me with patience. You are truly God's gift to me so I might be strengthened and equipped to bear fruit, much fruit, fruit that will last, all to His glory. You know (more than anyone else) that I sometimes balk at this work, but I know it is for my good. Thank you for making it your holy ambition to love me and to be my head. You are a living expression of God's love, kindness and jealousy toward me. I thank God He has given you to me to care for me, to nourish and cherish me, to sanctify and cleanse me as Christ does the Church. I thank God that you love me as you love yourself. I love you. You have been great a blessing you to me, perfectly ordained for me by the Lord all so I might be conformed more and more into His image so my joy might become fuller and fuller. God has made us one flesh and He has continued to protect and nurture our oneness in Him. I pray He would continue to be gracious to us and guard us for His glory and for our joy.
  
  Twenty-eight years ago tonight a few hours after we shared a supper of burnt tomato soup, you asked me to marry you. Thank you for giving yourself to Christ so you might give yourself to me for my good and for His glory. Thank you for continuing to be His selfless instrument for my joy.

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  Related:

  • God works through bad economies for good: A retrospective (includes the account of how I met my husband & my salvation)
  • wives, your husband is not your Husband | letter 77 on assurance & joy
  • on our anniversary
  • "I Have Been There" (Mark Schultz)
  • Naphtali News: Sacred Marriage
  • You whine and complain (Letter 70 on assurance & fighting for joy)

   

  • 9:20 PM
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