August 24, 2010

• a conversation with Jesus about misplaced joy ("do not rejoice in this" - letter 73 on joy)

  My dear blood-bought child, adopted by our Father, sealed by the Spirit,

  Do you remember how I sent out the seventy-two to minister?

  (Yes, Lord. That's in Luke 10, right?)

  Yes. *a slight grin* Well, of course, you know those chapter numbers were put in afterwards. Anyhow, do you remember their report upon returning?

  (Yes, Lord. They really rocked Satan's house, didn't they?)

  The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!

  Heh, yes, well, using today's vernacular, you could say they rocked his house, or, as I might say, the gates of hell were not prevailing!

  All right. Now, do your remember My response to the disciples?

  (Yes, Lord. You reminded them of the power and the authority they had from You, so that they shouldn't have been surprised at all at what they'd been able to do.)
  
  

  And he said to them, I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.

  Exactly. And that was a glorious day indeed!

  But My child, there was something else I said then. Do you remember it?

  (*thinking* *pauses* Ah, yes, You reminded them that their joy was misplaced. *sigh*)
  

  
  Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.

  Yes, My child, that's exactly it! Their joy was misplaced. They were missing it! Sure, they'd done great things for My Kingdom as I sent them out with My power and My authority (and remember that like them, you can't do anything apart from Me, apart from My call and My indwelling Holy Spirit), but I never intended for them to rejoice in their works.

  Haven't you been doing the very same thing? Hasn't your joy been misplaced?

  (*nods* Yes, Lord. You know all things.)

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in your God and Father who chose you in Me before the foundation of the world, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in our heavenly Father's love which sent Me to die for you while you were powerless, then you're missing it.
  
  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in My death on the cross that atoned for your sins, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in My work which reconciled you to God, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in God imputing My perfect righteousness to you, then you're missing it.
  
  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in the Holy Spirit's quickening work in your dead soul, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing that My Father adopted you as His child and made you My joint-heir, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in the privilege to call My God your God and My Father your Father, then you're missing it.
  
  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing in God's sovereign grace that saved you, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing that you are a child of God, then you're missing it.

  If you insist on rejoicing in your works rather than rejoicing that your name is written in heaven, then you're missing it.

  (Forgive Me, Lord. I have been missing it. And I know it. And I know that's why I've been so miserable lately.)

  Karen, I know My Holy Spirit began to work and continued to work an uneasiness in you last fall, and because of that you began to see you were missing it then and missing it big time...And then the day came when you came to know Me and My joy in a way you didn't think possible. But now you've slipped in that. Because I love you and I want you to know the fullness of My joy, My Spirit has been lusting against your flesh. And now your eyes have been opened once more so you could to see you've been missing it lately – or rather that you've been missing Me. When you miss Me, you're missing the only source of the true and lasting and pure joy.

  (Yes, Lord, You know all things.)

  Karen, let Me take you back to a couple months ago.

  Do you remember that summer day when you walked with Me and enjoyed Me at the park?
  You were rejoicing in Me.
  Pure rejoicing...
  in Me!

  (Yes, Lord!)

  

  And do you remember how you came home that day, you finished writing something and posted it...
  and afterwards you sat back and saw how the joy of writing didn't compare at all to the joy of knowing Me,
  to the joy we had shared together earlier that day, just the two of us, when you sat at My feet like Mary.

  (Ah, yes, Lord. I remember. In fact, I remember the joy, I don't even remember that post at the moment.)

  Hmm...Yes. "Don't even remember that post."
  You've said it right there...

  Now, let me make this clear, and I don't want you to get confused here. I do want you to enjoy your work and your ministry – your writing, speaking and blogging for and about Me. I want you to do all those things for Me without grumbling and complaining. But I don't ever want you to enjoy any of those things more than you enjoy Me. You can't ever enjoy any of those things more than you enjoy Me. That's idolatry. Yet there's a way you can enjoy Me more and more as you minister for Me, and I know you've begun to known that type of sanctified joy. But first and foremost, don't forget that I want you to rejoice that your name is written in heaven. I want you to rejoice in Me and My love for you. And if you're not doing that, then you're missing it.
  

  Did you need a laptop, a notebook or even a pencil to be filled with My joy that day in the park?
  Did you need to write anything at all to be filled with My joy that day in the park?
  Did you need to say anything at all to be filled with My joy that day at the park?
  Did you need to read or hear any commendations from men to be filled with My joy that day in the park?

  (*No, Lord. You know all things. Your joy is independent of all that.*)

  Right. So then...

  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your writing for Me rather than in Me?
  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your writing about Me rather than in Me?
  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your blogging for Me rather than in Me?
  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your blogging about Me rather than in Me?
  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your speaking for Me rather than in Me?
  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your speaking about Me rather than in Me?
  Why do you keep trying to find your identity in your ministry for Me rather than in Me?

  (Forgive me, Lord, my identity is found in You alone.
  First and foremost I am a child of God.
  All else pales in comparison.)

  Right.
  Yet how often do you still forget that?

  (*silence*)

  Your identity is not found in the words you write or speak.
  You identity is not found in the number of readers you have.
  Your identity is not found in the number of comments you get.

  Our brother LeCrae has some great words about identity.
  Listen to My Spirit's voice speaking to you through them.

  "Identity is found in the God we trust
  Any other identity will self-destruct....
  I'm not the job I work.
  You - You can't define my worth.
  By nothin' on God's green earth
  My identity is found in Christ
  is found in Christ."
  
  Karen, your identity is found in Christ!
  Found in ME!
  
  Yes, "you're a Christian, you gave your life,"
  but you "still ain't satisfied in the saving Christ,"
  are you?
  
  (*nods* Yes, Lord. You know all things.)
  
  Now I'm taking a little liberty and adapting that song for you, dear one:

  Still find your identity in words and phrases
  If you didn't seek identity in men's vain praises
  if you only knew you didn't have to look so hard
  if you looked in God
  it may seem odd
  but you be so satisfied you could leave it all...
  

  Karen, please keep remembering this: I love you. I want My best for you. I am for you. I am always seeking your good, and your good is that you find joy in Me alone. That's why I'm disciplining you today. I want you to have My joy – joy not as the world gives. I want you to have joy, and not only a little joy but fullness of joy – and you're never going to have that apart from Me. Never. Anytime any of My children have misplaced joy, I'm coming after them like the hound of heaven. Misplaced joy is a sure fail. I think that's how you'd put it today, right? Sure fail. And know this: the devil wants you to settle for misplaced joy, to be satisfied with lesser, inferior and counterfeit joys, but they are never going to satisfy you like Me. Never.

  All right, let's read something from Isaiah 61:

  I will greatly rejoice in my works
  my soul shall exult in myself!

  Oh, no, wait a minute, that isn't what Isaiah said, was it?! (I certainly hope you caught that!)

  I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
  my soul shall exult in my God,

  How you react when you've been ignored or slighted or criticized or praised or commended, and how you react to others' successes or failures – all that shows clearly whether your joy is rooted in Me – or in yourself and your works. Remember, you can't ever conceal your heart from Me. When you're able to rejoice and be glad in Me at all times, when your soul is able to exult in Me at all times  – whether you're blogging or not, regardless of the number of comments or readers you have, no matter what people are saying about you (or not saying), regardless of what's happening with other people, then I know your joy is rightly rooted.

  My little one, your joy hasn't been rightly rooted as of late, has it?

  (No, Lord. You know all things.)

  Remember the apostle Paul's words:

  Rejoice in the Lord always.

  Notice that there...Rejoice in Me. Does it say anything about rejoicing in your works?

  (No.)

  Besides that, I know you know that there's no absolutely no way you can rejoice in your works always.

  You know My discipline today is for your good. My desire is that your joy would be full. Any earthly joy you can derive from your work is going to be finite and limited and temporary. Remember that the joy I give you through your work is infinite and unlimited and eternal. Why do you continue to dip your ladle in the broken cisterns when I make freely available the fountain of everlasting joy? As LeCrae put it, "any other identity will self-destruct." You've experienced that, haven't you? You know full well that the approval, praise and commendations of others is fleeting. Surely you've not forgotten that time someone posted a very affirming comment on your blog – and then not long afterwards turned around and put you down? My love for you is constant. My love for you isn't based on what you do. Remember that I loved you before the foundation of the world and My Father chose you before the foundation of the world? So, now, a question for you – Karen, were you doing anything then, before the foundation of the world?

  (Um, well, no, Lord. Of course not. *wanting to say Grrr! here, but knowing that would be disrespecful to my Lord* How could I have been doing anything? I wasn't even born yet!)

  Exactly! My love for you is not dependent on what you do. In your case, it's not dependent on your writing or speaking. It never has been. And it never will be. You have been accepted in the Beloved by grace alone through faith alone, not of works, lest you boast. And remember that even your faith is My gift to you.

  When I died for you, how would you describe yourself?

  (Dead, helpless and powerless in my sins and transgressions. Unable to seek You. Unable to approach You. I was far away. I was Your enemy.)

  Yes. So salvation is our gift to you independent of your works and all centered in and flowing from My work on the cross.

  And now when My Father looks on you He sees My blood and My righteousness. Your works have nothing to do with His love for You. Never. (Yes, you are supposed to be working; faith without works is dead. But remember your works are not the root of salvation but the fruit. And any works You can do are all due to My Spirit at work in you, so the glory is all Mine. If salvation were dependent on you and your works then it is no longer by grace and it is not all about Me and My all-sufficient work for you on the cross. That's another conversation for another day, however. I know you've addressed that a little bit here.)

  My love for you is never changing because I, the Lord, never change. There is no shadow of turning in Me. On the other hand, people are people. People change. All people are sinners and since you live in a fallen world, even the very best of friends is going to fail you eventually. You've known the pain of being hurt haven't you? You're known the pain of cutting words, haven't you? You've known the pain of being ignored, haven't you?

  Yet in spite of all that, how often do you continue to seek after joy in other people and in your work for Me? How often do you try to find your joy in your ministry for Me, rather than rejoicing that your name is written in heaven? How often do you compare your work to others'? How often do you look at how many people have read your blog or how many comments have been made? No wonder you become distressed and depressed. You won't ever run the race or finish your course with joy if you keep rooting your joy in your work for Me rather than in Me. Don't you want to finish your course with joy?

  (Yes, Lord. You know all things.)

  I know you've seen the symptoms rising up again in your own heart...
  

  • Distress and agitation that hardly anyone is reading and commenting on your blog.
  • Jealousy and envy and covetousness when you see others' blogs are being read and commented on.
  • Murmuring. Complaining. Grumbling. Whining. (All those things you've been writing about lately.)

  (Yes, Lord. And I confess I am a hypocrite. And You know I hate it. I hate my sin. I hate these desires. You know I love You. Yes, that love is imperfect at this point, and yet I have come to know You and Your joy and love and grace in greater measure over the past year, but I know there is so much more and I am lacking that. I confess I am prone to wander. I confess I am prone to seek my joy in any and all places but You, including in my work. I confess I am prone to jealousy and envy and covetousness. I confess I am prone to murmuring, complaining, grumbling and whining. Take my heart and seal it. Take my heart and transform it so I might seek You and You only. How foolish and brutish I am when I seek joy in anyone or in any place apart from You. O, how in need of You I am for Your resurrection power to put off my sin and to put on Christ! Help me to know the breadth and length and height and depth of your love which surpasses understanding, and grant me grace upon grace. I am poor and needy. I have nothing apart from You I can do nothing apart from You. I have no true joy or life or peace or rest or hope apart from You. I also confess that I know You and Your promises. I know that if I am faithful to sow in and by the Spirit, I will reap one day. Help me not to be weary in well doing but to continue to sow (albeit some days in tears) so I might look ahead to reaping in joy.)

  As I walked on the earth, you know I experienced these same temptations and yet I was without sin. Remember that I came to My own and they did not receive Me. Remember the time I was stoned and left for dead. Remember the time so many of My disciples stopped following Me, remember Judas' betrayal and then how all My disciples forsook Me and scattered. Remember how I was unjustly tried, accused, beaten and bruised and crucified. So you know that I can sympathize with your weaknesses. Never forget that I can help you in your time of need. Never forget that I continue to intercede for you to save you to the uttermost as you struggle. Would you come to Me at the very moment you see any of those evil desires surfacing in your soul...even the smallest shoot of bitterness springing up? Stop everything and come to Me so you might have life rather than allowing the devil to get a foothold. Open My Word and pray. I have made the way for You to approach the throne of grace by My body and blood. O, that you would keep away from the paths of the destroyer so you might behold My face!
  
  (By Your grace alone, Lord, can I come to Your throne of grace. I can't even see those things rising up within me, for my heart is desperately wicked and deceitful. I can't see them as sinful unless You anoint my eyes to see them. I am blind apart from Your light. Show me Your glory. Give me a greater love for You and Your holiness and a greater hatred for my sin. Be merciful to me, a sinner. Work in me to will and to do of Your good pleasure without murmuring, complaining, grumbling or whining. Grant me the grace to be content and happy in You, to rest in Your yoke, for You are all I need.)

  So, now, My child, let's go over this once more.

  Is My love for you dependent on what you do?

  (No.)

  Do I love you because of what you do?

  (No.)

  Do I love you more because you write more or get more comments?

  (No.)

  Do I love you less because you write less or get fewer comments?

  (No.)

  Exactly.

  You've seen what happens when your joy is rooted in and wrapped up in your ministry and your ability to perform and produce and others' opinions of you. You know what happens when you run into failure or disappointment in ministry. You know what happens during those Habakkuk 3 times, those times when there are no flocks in the fields, no herds in the stalls, no grapes on the vines or no fruit on the trees. You know that if your joy isn't rightly rooted in Me, you're going to be shaken and eventually you'll crumble and despair and lose hope. Isn't that what's been happening lately? Right now there's little visible fruit, and I see you lapsing once more. It makes me weep. Would that you would know the things that make for your joy!

  (Ah, self dies hard. I hate this! Be merciful to me. Hear my cries. Help me, Holy and Almighty God, to mortify these fleshly, sinful desires by Your Spirit. I have no power to anything apart from You – except to remain in this endless, vain, self-seeking downward cycle of misplaced joy, which is no joy at all. *groan* Be kind to me, lead me to repentance and back to You, my exceeding joy!)

  And then consider what would happen should you be sidelined or unable to minister for a longer term, or even indefinitely? What would happen to your joy at that point if it's dependent on your work? And when I've asked you to take breaks from writing, I've seen how you've struggled with that. You struggle whenever your joy is rooted in your works rather than in Me. Again, I do want you to enjoy what you do, but never more than you enjoy Me. I want you to rest in Me and find joy for your soul. There is no true and lasting joy and peace for the soul which doesn't rest and trust fully in Me.
  
  My child, I am praying that your joy would not be misplaced. I am praying you would find joy in Me and the gift of eternal life I've given you, rather than seeking for joy in vain in your ministry for Me.

  (Thank You, Jesus, My Great High Priest. And I know how sad and pathetic this is because I've known You and Your joy more and more deeply than ever in the past year. Forgive Me, Holy Father, for Jesus' sake.)

  Karen, I have forgiven you. I am your Advocate with our Father. And remember this: there is now no condemnation for you in Me. My blood cleanses you from all your sin and guilt. I don't want you to go around in circles in this.

  (*Yes, Lord. Thank You. *)

  I know you've come quite far in your heart understanding of joy since last year, but I also know you still have lapses in this. Grave lapses. No, they've not been for long, but they do grieve Me. You know I can see the thoughts and intents of your heart like no one else. Yet I do know your frame and I pity you. But remember this: anytime and every time you try to find your joy in something besides Me, that's a sure fail. Anytime. Every time. I'm telling you this for your good. I have made you Mine and I have so much more for you than this. I weep when I see you toiling and laboring and expecting to glean a few drops of joy from your work rather than looking to me and finding the joy you seek freely offered and overflowing in abundance in Me. I know you would agree with Me that you have been in sore need of a reminder that true, lasting joy can never be found in your works for Me but in Me alone.

  (Yes, Lord. You know all things. Thank You for loving me, for being patient and longsuffering toward me even as I've been disobedient and contrary. Thank You for Your kindness that leads me to repentance.)

  O, My love, purchased with My own precious blood, I am praying you would once more set your heart and your mind on things above. I have been praying My Spirit would give you ears to hear Me and circumcise your heart to receive that same word into your heart once more so it might take even deeper root:

  Nevertheless, do not rejoice in your works, but rejoice that your name is written in heaven.

  (Holy Spirit, soften my hard heart to receive Your Word with meekness and gladness, so my joy might not be misplaced. May I no longer rejoice in my works, but rejoice that my name is written in heaven. Help me to root my joy in Christ and Christ alone.)

  * * *

  What is the source of your joy today?
  Is it the Lord Himself – or is your joy misplaced?
  Are you rejoicing that your name is written in heaven or are you rejoicing in your works?

  Perhaps you're not struggling with rejoicing in your works, but your joy may still be misplaced.
  What is the source of your joy?
  Is it the Lord Himself – or is your joy misplaced?
  Will you ask the Lord to help you seek Him as your joy?

  
  

  ---

  Some related posts on joy, mortifying sin and ministry:

  • Finding pleasure in Him
    
  • Keep me away from the paths of the destroyer that I might behold Your face. (Psalm 17)
  • one woman's (not so secret) addiction
  • the minister's examination: "Who is my master?"
  • I keep seeking (the minister's confession)
  • temptation
  • Bible Reading: Job 2:1 - "Again" (To press on we must always be mortifying sin | John Owen)
  • Fourth Sunday of Advent: Are you preparing Him room?
  • (9) Kingdom-Obsessed People don't seek "great things" for themselves
  • every time (the prophet's affirmation in depression, doubt & distress)
  • my notes on Tim Keller's talk on idols @ The Gospel Coalition Conference
  • blogging, view count, comments, numbers and the glory of God
  • Make war (Herod, blogging, appetites, the glory of God & the Word of God)
  • without Kingdom vision, my vision will perish (reaping from Livingstone's Kingdom vision)
  • Idolatry and Lust: The temptation to seek after results rather than God
  • Bible Reading-Mark 4: (6) Kingdom-Obsessed People persevere in scattering seed
  • What Is Success? What Is Making a Difference? (Series Links)

  Some of my other letters on assurance & fighting for joy:
  

  • the laborer's lamentation and affirmation
  • Letter 1 on assurance and fighting for joy
  • Letter 2 on assurance and fighting for joy
  • Letter 4 on joy (true joy is based on our relationship with God through Jesus Christ)
  • Letter 7 on assurance and fighting for joy (remember His love for us while we were sinners)
  • Letter 9 on assurance and fighting for joy in contending for the Gospel
  • Letter 11 on assurance and fighting for joy (the Lord is at hand! - Philippians 4)
  • Letter 13 on assurance and fighting for joy (strengthened for endurance and patience with joy)
  • Letter 16 on assurance and fighting for joy (our prayers, His wise denials and joy)
  • Letter 18 on assurance and fighting for joy (my testimony of joy)
  • Letter 24 on assurance and fighting for joy (the Father's discipline)
  • Letter 25 on assurance and fighting for joy (a strong craving ≠ His joy)
  • Jesus' yoke --> fullness of joy (Letter 31 on assurance & fighting for joy)
  • true repentance leads to joy (Letter 37 on assurance & fighting for joy)
  • letter 42 on assurance & fighting for joy: "Blessed Assurance" - You are a child of God!
  • seek first His Kingdom (letter 43 on assurance & fighting for joy)
  • How can I be joyful weeping over Jerusalem? (Letter 50 on assurance & joy)
  • O prowling lion, Know this ... O my downcast soul, Know this (letter 57 on assurance & joy)
  • Keep me away from the paths of the destroyer that I might behold Your face. (Psalm 17)
  • take me to that place of quiet rest (letter 68 on assurance & fighting for joy)
  • Will you finish your course with joy? (Acts 20:24) - letter 71 on assurance & joy

  More on assurance:

  • What happens when the shadows fall on you? (David Crowder*Band)
  • He's not dropping us! (Isaiah 46:3-4)
  • Bible Reading-Isaiah: When We Think the LORD Has Forsaken and Forgotten Us
  • even in my disappointment - still blessed by my Father
  • the sparrow reminds us
  • Why I'm a happy Calvinist! (Resting in the sovereignty of God)

  • 3:31 PM
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