October 14, 2009
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Letter 1 on assurance and fighting for joy
God recently reminded me I need to be able to rejoice in Him regardless of how much fruit I'm seeing as I minister (please see my post the laborer's lamentation and affirmation)...so I might be able to sing Habakkuk's song no matter the circumstances...
17 Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19 GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places.
To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19)Since that time I've been reflecting more on joy and joy in service and joy in ministry. Lord willing, I'm expecting to do a series of posts about joy, but in preparation for those, I would like to publish a couple letters on assurance and joy. [It's turned out to be far more than a couple. I invite you to see the links to all my letters on assurance & fighting for joy here.] Here's the first...
Dear friend in Christ,
I realized that I had previously asked God for joy in forgiveness of sins/assurance and later received it unexpectedly one day after I lay down before Him to confess my sins. That day I felt totally unworthy, I was beating myself up again, as I had so often done, I was full of guilt and without hope, then God's Holy Spirit spoke a word of assurance to me that my soul was clean.
So as I've been considering that, I've now realized I must ask for God's gift of joy in service, no matter how much or little fruit I might see...
For a couple years I had struggled w/ assurance of forgiveness. I've mentioned this to you a couple times. That's why I wrote all those posts on dealing with past sins and guilt and failure. I was trying to steep myself in the Scripture, the truth about my relationship to God. I had to immerse myself in His Word. There was really nothing left to do. But then, as I said above, in a most unexpected and precious way God doubled the external witness of the Word by the inner witness of His Holy Spirit (as William Williams would have described it, i.e.- similar to Romans 8:16, though I already had received the assurance I was His child, this witness was the assurance my sins were forgiven).
It was almost a couple years ago that I listened to a John Piper message about John Newton. Newton ministered to William Cowper (he suffered terribly w/ depression; I'd previously listened to a message about him as well). I was also reading Piper's book "When I Don't Desire God." It's about fighting for joy and Cowper's story is included in that. I was tormented over my sin/failure/guilt, etc., etc. I knew about God's promise of assurance of forgiveness of sins in my head, but I didn't feel it – I didn't know it in my heart and soul.
So now I'm seeing I have got to fight for joy in serving Him. Habakkuk 3:17-19. And I am trusting that one day He will give it to me in the same way He blessed me with the gift of assurance. I don't know if there is Scriptural foundation for this exactly or not.
I do want to go back and read what I'd written late last year/earlier this year (but never posted) about joy and reexamine Scripture. God does want our joy to be full, does He not? He does want us to sing in prison like Paul & Silas, does He not? He wants us to rejoice in our sufferings as we see they are for the furtherance of the Gospel? How can we do that apart from the settled assurance of joy only He can give us?
Prior to Martyn Lloyd-Jones' (ML-J) leaving the pastorate at Westminster Chapel, he'd been teaching through Romans (for 9 years, I think it was - this was on Friday nights - he was also doing 2 sermons on Sundays as well!). Afterwards he made the comment that he believed he couldn't preach on that verse in Romans about joy (Rom. 15:13 - "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost") b/c he felt he didn't really know the joy of God in that way, so God had him step down from the pastorate before that. (That's not the reason he left. He thought he had a fatal illness and stepped down, but then lived over 10 years after that.) I can hardly believe that ML-J didn't know such joy given the intimacy he had with God. I suppose he was like the apostle Paul in Philippians 3. He knew joy, but yet knew there was even more to be had: Not that I have already attained, but I press on...
So let us press on...may He provide us joy to overflowing as we rest in His yoke fitted for each of us.
May He help us to know Him more and know more His joy unspeakable and full of glory,
Karen
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Comments (10)
The fruit you desire to see isn't always visible to you, but that doesn't mean it isn't produced. It resides in the hearts and souls of men.
Beautiful, just beautiful. What could be more beautiful than the one whose joy is in the Most Beautiful One.
@blonde_apocalypse - Yes, thank you for the reminder. The Kingdom of God is like leaven or that grain of mustard seed, is it not?
@quest4god@revelife - Thinking about what you wrote here...This from Psalm 90 (KJV):12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. 13 Return, O LORD, how long? and let it repent thee concerning thy servants. 14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. 15 Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. 16 Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children. 17 And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.The beauty of the Most Beautiful One will be upon us. He will satisfy us with His mercy. He will make us rejoice and be glad! He will establish the work of our hands. He is exceedingly and ravishingly beautiful, is He not?
1Co 9:24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. 25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. 26 I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: 27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.Past failures haunt me as well sometimes. I realize that I chose to leave a calling (to mentor a person that I chose not to mentor at the time) that God gave me. This thing haunts me because, like a pebble dropped into water, the ripples go on and on... regrets... Looking at my younger years, I see how vain and materialistic my life was. I had my kids in a Christian school and ran and ran and ran to keep up with all the activity. I can see that some (not all) of the "service" was my pride. I enjoyed dressing them up, watching them compete, cultivating friendships among their peers for them, all night slumber parties and on and on. BUT, where was the serious, sober confrontational teaching so that they could surpass my stunted maturity? I think Satan leads us down these paths. All I can do now is my best for today and the next day and the next. Service in one's youth is best, but as the saying goes "you can't put a 40 year old head on a 20 year old". Sometimes this can actually depress me to the point of feeling worthless. We know that is not of God. He is a God of Hope and Love and yes, Joy.
@orangeranium8 - I can hear myself in your words here: Sometimes this can actually depress me to the point of feeling worthless. I struggled w/ guilt and worthlessness. Continue to soak yourself in God's promises of assurance of forgiveness to you. And I will be praying His Spirit will speak that sweet assurance into your soul, so you might truly know His sure and steadfast love for you in Jesus Christ that surpasses all understanding.I'd encourage you to look through my posts on past sins & guilt and failure that I've linked above.I have found Micah 7:7-9 so helpful; I wrote about it in my post on false guilt vs. godly guilt. (See also my post here about accepting the atonement of Christ, otherwise we'll repeat it.) Yes, we've sinned, we've blown it. Satan wants to keep us mired in that, even after we've confessed our sin. God is ready to lift us up out of that; Christ shed His blood to forgive us and cleanse us from all sin. I know those feelings can be paralyzing and debilitating.Reflect on and rejoice in His love for you in Jesus Christ. Hebrews 8:12: For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins NO more.Christ's grace & peace be with you, dear sister,Karen
"God does want our joy to be full, does He not? He does want us to sing in prison like Paul & Silas, does He not?" - Amen Brother. I know it is an old post, but it found me in need. Thank You
@ToddCBrown - You're welcome! The devil keeps prowling and bombarding us with lies, so Christians need to continue to remind one another of the truth from God's Word ~ e.g. - Col. 3:16; Heb. 3:13.(BTW: it's sister, not brother...)~ Karen
@naphtali_deer - "(BTW: it's sister, not brother...)" LOL! So sorry
@ToddCBrown - No problem!