June 23, 2009

• Postcards from God in England: the frisking at Heathrow

  I wasn't quite sure how I would write about my time in England but then decided to do something like I did last summer while we were in Vail, Colorado. At the time I wrote a series of posts I entitled "Postcards from God at Vail," and I plan to do something similar now regarding my trip to England.

  I'm going to start off today with what God has been writing on my heart specifically regarding my relationship to Him and my blogging. (This will most likely be the longest of all the posts I'll have.)

  Revelation 1: Seeing Jesus lets us see our sin

  Before I went away, I'd planned to read Revelation 1-3 along with John Stott's book, "What Christ Thinks of the Church: An Exposition of Revelation 1-3." (Please see my post Naphtali News: a time to blog and . . . ) While I was away, I kept reading and rereading Revelation 1-3 and found myself drawn particularly to Revelation 1. I thought I would have been zeroing in more on chapters two and three, which contain the letters to the seven churches. And as I read I purposefully kept putting off opening Stott's book; I was tempted, but then I realized I wanted to hear directly from God rather than letting someone else's interpretation bias me or have me miss out on what the Spirit was speaking to me regarding Jesus' words. (Since arriving home, I have now opened and read just a little of Stott's book.)

  Yesterday I posted "Let us see Jesus Christ in our midst" at tent of meeting regarding our need to have a vision of Christ as John had in Revelation 1. It is only when we have such a high view of God, only when we see God who is high and lifted up and is Holy, Holy, Holy, will we see how our sin, even the littlest sin, is offensive and repugnant and intolerable to Him.

  The Frisking at Heathrow

  While on our way back home to the States, I ended up being frisked twice at Heathrow. The first time was when I'd gone through security on my way to the gate. Not only did I set the alarm off going through the metal detector, but they also detected something in my backpack through the X-ray machine that raised a red flag. First they frisked my person and found nothing questionable. So then next came the backpack. They proceeded to empty out it out. I had my backpack packed full to the brim lots of things. (Think Mrs. Beaver in Narnia...)

  My Bible
  A couple Lloyd-Jones books ("Revival" and "Living Water: Studies in John 4")
  Stott's book
  A couple spiral notebooks (one was almost full)
  Pencil case w/ pencils, extra leads and pens
  Contact lens solution, case & glasses
  Feminine products
  Camera case, camera, extra batteries
  
  (And that was just the big pocket...)
  
  (Now to the smaller pockets...)
  
  A small bottle of hand cream (had forgotten it was there–I should have put that in the one-quart ziploc bag w/ the lens solution), assorted mints, candies and chocolates, granola bars, lip balm, my small carved mini wooden box w/ a mustard seed in it (something my daughter gave me, I put the seed in it and keep it in my pack)

  It was an odd experience and a bit disconcerting to have all these things taken out of my pack and laid out on the table in front of me by a total stranger. I felt a little bit violated and laid bare. But the screener was very kind and she continued to look and look because there was definitely something in my bag that had raised a red flag and they'd not yet found it. She proceeded to examine the contents a bit more and ended up opening up the zippered compartment on the front of my Bible case and it was there she discovered and pulled out one of my metal page clips which I use for holding books open while reading:

  

  "What's this for?"

  I explained what it was for. Of course, I could see they had definite reason to be alarmed. She took the page clip and turned it around and placed it on her hand like so (somewhat resembling brass knuckles):

   
  

  Yes, when used like that, I'd say they would have definite reason for alarm, wouldn't you?! After checking with another person at security, she apologized but kindly informed me I couldn't take my page clip on the plane (I wasn't surprised at that, of course) but I could pack it into my checked luggage if I liked. I declined the offer to do so, figuring it wasn't worth the hassle. So my page clip was left behind at Heathrow. (Perhaps someone is using it right now to read a good book?)

  The screeners were very nice and polite, and, as you can see, they were very attentive, vigilant and thorough. They were certainly doing their job. They had to make certain nothing harmful, destructive or deadly could get through security. After we arrived at the gate to sit down we could see perhaps the reason for the extra alertness, for it was only then we saw the t.v. report that two bodies had been handed over to British officials the night before and were most likely British hostages captured in Iraq in 2007 (which turned out to be the case).

  The second frisking was not so extensive; it was only a random search and bag check done prior to embarking on the plane and that went by fairly quickly.

  Revelation 1-3: Jesus searches and sanctifies us

  I've been thinking about this whole incident now especially in light of Revelation 1. I would encourage you to reread the passage for yourself.

  There we have Jesus, holy and pure, without sin or blemish. If you read the passage, the picture we get of Jesus is not "Gentle Jesus, meek and mild." And we don't see anything like "Jesus is my boyfriend," or any of that sort of rubbish. We see Jesus in His full shining Glory. We see His eyes like a flame of fire and we hear His voice, a voice like many waters. We see Jesus as high and lifted up. We see Jesus as the Head of the Church. We see Jesus as our Judge and our Sanctifier. We see a sharp two-edged sword coming out of His mouth. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. 13 And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:12-13. His countenance is like the brightest sun we could ever imagine. Here we have a vision of the ultimate Glory and the Holiness of God similar to that which Isaiah saw. As God has said, no one can look upon Him and live. When John saw Jesus, we read that John fell down at Jesus' feet as dead. When Isaiah saw God high and lifted up, Isaiah saw Himself as undone. Neither John nor Isaiah saw the full glory of God, but each one saw enough to be severely and profoundly affected. Even if we are given but a glimpse of His glory, should we not fall down at Jesus' feet as dead? Should we not also be undone in the presence of Light and Holiness and Glory and prostrate ourselves before Him and dare not whisper a word as we place our hands over our mouths?

  I'd written previously about the Holy Spirit's sanctifying and purifying work in our lives here. As I reread this earlier today, it really convicted me, and I think it says far more than I can write at the moment:

  The Spirit's fire burns within us to purify us, to show us our sin so we might repent of our sin and forsake it. He shows us where we've compromised with sin and not gotten rid of all the leaven. We sometimes leave a speck or two. We figure it will do no great harm. Yet the next thing we know we have a big bunch of leaven gone out of control in our soul, no different than the bull in the china shop. Apart from the softening and enlightening of Holy Spirit, we can be deceived and hardened and blinded to even the biggest and vilest sins in our lives. He shows us how we've tried to make a deal with the devil, and juggle and drink from the cup of devils and the cup of the Lord simultaneously, to love God and mammon, to have one foot in heaven and one in hell.

  We owe God all of us. We are to be given over wholly to Him because we belong wholly to Him. So when I make such compromises, no matter how small, and don't give God all of me, it is idolatry, it is blatant sin. I am no different than the Israelites who gave their golden ornaments to fashion an idol. The gifts of God which were to be devoted to the building of the tabernacle, were tossed into the fire and molded into a golden calf. Brothers and sisters, that's just what we do when we devote any part of us to any other thing but God Himself. We are to be the tabernacle of God's Spirit, wholly given over to Him and Him alone.

  The Spirit comes to us make us holy, to purify us, to burn away all the imperfections and impurities, to make us like Him, to make us wholly His, to conform us into the image of Jesus. Therefore, any speck of leaven and any bit of dross has got to be dealt with. For it is only then that our profession of love for our Savior begins to become reality. It is only then that Christ can be formed in us. Otherwise we're just playing at being Christians. And it's an easy game to play. To make little compromises here and there. To hide our idols like Rachel. To take spoils that are not ours like Achan. To protect our interests and lie like Abram. To become impatient and not wait on God's timing like Saul. To covet and take what's not ours like David. To lust for power and manipulate like Jeroboam. To disobey God's direction like Jonah. To tell God we know what is best and deny our Lord like Peter. Yes, that's me. I'm bad like Rachel. I'm bad like Achan. I'm bad like Abram. I'm bad like Saul. I'm bad like David. I'm bad like Jeroboam. I'm bad like Jonah. I'm bad like Peter. I'm a sinner. We're all sinners. I love the Bible because it reminds us continually we are all bad. And I love the Holy Spirit because He tells us the same thing. He leads me into all truth. Praise God that He shows me the truth about my sin. Yes, I don't like to hear it but I need to hear it. And I must hear it, otherwise I will not be able to run the race of holiness God has set before me. I must hear it so I can confess my sin and receive cleansing and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ. If I don't I can never be a vessel honorable and holy, sanctified and useful to the master for every good work.

  In Revelation 2 and 3, Jesus is standing in the midst of the seven churches. He is shining there in all His brightness and magnificent Glory. What is He doing there? He is evaluating the Church. He has taken His sword into the midst and He is shining His Light there. He's not doing this to be mean to us, but on the contrary, it is for our good. God's commandments are given to us to bless us. Holiness is God's perfect plan for our ultimate happiness and deepest joy.

  What does Jesus find as He looks at the seven churches? It's a mixed bag: there's some good, and there's some bad. And just as we saw Him in the Gospels, Jesus doesn't mince words here as He speaks to the Church. He doesn't sugar coat it. He commends, but He also rebukes. He encourages but He also exhorts. His purpose is to refine the Church and purify us and make us holy and He is holy. What does He find as He looks at the Church today? Do we have ears to hear what His Spirit is saying to us today? When we go through His "screening" what does He find? Is there something that is harmful, destructive or deadly? What does He see when He looks at us today? What does He see when He looks at me today?

  Jesus has entrusted each of us with gifts and talents to minister for Him. If we use them wisely and humbly and in the power God provides, we will be commended. But if we use them unwisely and proudly and rely on our own power, we will be rebuked and we risk those things might be taken from us. The page holder is a good thing so long as it is used rightly, but if not used as it was intended, it can very well be harmful, destructive or deadly.

  I'm reminded of Saul who had been given the anointing of the Lord but then lost it. That frightens me. That should frighten each one of us.

  Jesus searches and sanctifies me

  Jesus has given me gifts and talents to steward, much like the page clip, and I am responsible for how I use them and He will hold me accountable. He is warning me: "Karen, be careful how you use what I have given you. If you are not using My gifts as I have intended, I'm going to take them away. Do you have ears to hear Me?"

  As I blog, I can use my gifts and talents for His glory and I can use them for my own glory.
  As I blog, I can use my gifts and talents to lift Him up, or to lift myself up.
  As I blog, I can use my gifts and talents in my own strength or in His strength.

  As I blog, I am finding myself increasingly tempted to write to gain a bigger audience, e.g.-if my posts are short enough perhaps they might go up on Revelife and then more people will read them. Yes, I could rationalize that God wants me to have more readers (and it may very well be the case that He might), but my first aim can never be to have more readers, it must always be to write for Him and for His glory and His glory alone, to write what He is directing me to write and to write in the manner in which He is directing me to write.

  I know many of you have suggested I shortening my posts so they might be published on Revelife. First off, I want to say I do know you mean well in this, but this has been a real temptation and snare for me. I want to clarify that it is not a temptation because of what you are saying, because I know each of you genuinely love God and the Lord Jesus and you have a passion and love for His Word and each of you has a desire for good teaching to be made more readily available, and, of course, I wholeheartedly agree with you in that. It is a temptation for me because of the lust that still lingers in my heart, in the old man – the lust that craves attention and affirmation, the lust of the pride of life. So I must continue to battle my flesh as it lusts against the Spirit in the power of the Spirit.

  I also know that up until this point in time, for the most part God has not gifted me to be able to write concisely. That frustrates me at times. Yes, there have been times when I've written short and meaty posts, but more often than not, my posts tend to be long. I think to how God's Spirit moved in many different personalities to write His Word down for us in the Bible, and in a similar way He uses many different people today to teach and propagate His Word yet today. I tend to be on the lengthy side of writing. Many of you are on the concise side, and I commend you for that, and that amazes me. That doesn't come naturally for me. I mentioned recently in a comment to one of my posts that if God wants to change me up and help me write concise but meaty posts, I should be ready for that, and I have prayed about that. Perhaps He will do that. Perhaps not. I cannot say. Only He knows.

  One thing I do know is that less than a week after I worked to edit down one of my posts in an attempt to have it published on Revelife, I ended up writing another short post about legalism (Instead of legalism . . . Christ!) which had the most readership in a span of a few days and the most recommendations and comments I'd ever had on a post, and by the end of the week it did end up on Revelife. I wasn't expecting to write that post. In fact, a few hours before I wrote it, I felt I was nothing because, in fact, God was reminding me I am nothing in myself. I posted about that here; I felt an eerie and disconcerting emptiness. But then that post came. The Spirit moves as He wills.

  In retrospect, I don't really know if I sinned by editing down that other post or not, but that whole experience reminded me how God can work in ways beyond what we can ask or imagine, and we can never predict how and when He may choose to work. I don't want to jump ahead of God and to offer a sacrifice like Saul did. I always have to remember that to obey Him is better than to sacrifice, or in my case, to post a blog entry only so I can say a lot of people have read it. And so often when we force something, it becomes all about us and our efforts, and as we do so, we can impede and hinder the work of the Spirit in our lives. That's frightening to me. God forbid that I would quench or grieve His Spirit!

  As I continue to write (and I believe I am supposed to continue to do so) I must continue to be on guard against my heart for my heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. I should not post one word if I'm not doing it for the Lord and in obedience to His will for me and by means of His power.

  I've written about this before, but I am seeing more and more that I cannot compromise on what God is wanting me to write. That became more evident to me I read through Revelation 2 and 3. God is wanting His Church to be wholly devoted to Him, their worship of Him is to be pure and uncompromising. There can be no leaven whatsoever. God's desire for the Church is pure, wholehearted devotion to Him alone. God's desire is for my blogging to be wholly devoted to Him alone.

  Ephesus: Pure Unreserved Love.
  Smyrna: Pure Persevering Faith.
  Pergamos: Pure Doctrine and Practice.
  Thyatira: Pure Uncompromising Teaching.
  Sardis: Pure Lively Religion.
  Philadelphia: Pure Perseverance.
  Laodicea: Pure Flaming Devotion.

  I had a hard time coming up with those descriptions because there's quite a bit of overlap among the churches, but I do see the major theme and the main message Jesus is speaking to the Church is that He desires purity of heart, soul, mind and strength. We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind and all our strength. We are to have no other gods before Him, we are to have no other gods but Him because we are His, we have been bought with a price, He redeemed us out of the marketplace of sin and we are to honor Him with our whole lives even as He gave His life a whole burnt offering in our place. He wants all of us. 100%. Nothing less.

  Yes, God is love, but God is holy and God is Light and in Him there is no darkness. We are to be holy as He is holy. Period. There can be no impurity, no dirt, no speck of leaven, no compromise, no corruption. The call to be Christ's is a call to be holy, a call to be wholly His, as David Crowder reminds us, and as Peter reminds us:

  But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. I Peter 2:9-12.

  God didn't save us merely so we could continue on in sin or so we could live our lives how we want. There's no room for any bit of mammon in our lives – either as individuals or in the corporate life of the Church. We must be single-eyed for our Bridegroom alone; there's no place for harlotry in the Church. We have been redeemed and bought by His precious blood. The Bride of Christ is betrothed to Him and we must keep ourselves pure toward Him and purify ourselves even as He is pure. There no room for impurity or compromise of any sort.

  In many ways, I'm not really a blogger. In fact, I wouldn't even say I'm a writer. I'm not polished. I have no training. I know my vocabulary is limited. I once went to one of those sites which tells you the reading level of your blog and mine was high school level. I don't consider I really have any skill except what God gives me. But I do know that as I write, as God's grace strengthens me, I strive and seek to write what He is putting on my heart.

  I remember a time in fifth grade when our teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said an author and a teacher. I keep pinching myself because that is what I am doing now! God has sanctified those desires I had even before I knew Him and He has allowed me to write and teach for Him. That is a privilege I can never take for granted and cannot squander. He has been so wonderful to me to allow me to do this. George Whitefield wrote in his journals: "Who would but drop a word for God?" Indeed! What a blessing and privilege to be able to do so!

  Right now I am praying God would lead me not into temptation and that I would not head there myself. I am praying for protection from the evil one while knowing full well that the Good Shepherd is guarding and keeping me and though for a time I may be deceived and give heed to the voice of the hireling, in the end I will hear my Shepherd's voice and come running back home to my Father's house.

  Again, I ask for your prayers for clear direction for me, so I might be found faithful and walk worthy of the calling to which God has called me and never compromise.

  I hope to write more about my trip in the days to come.

  Redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ
  by the free grace of the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
  blogging to the glory of God through the power of the Holy Spirit,
  all for your upbuilding, dearly beloved brothers and sisters in Christ,

  Karen

  Related post: Why I blog and the only kind of recommendation I should seek

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