October 20, 2008
-
Naphtali News: speaking to God about my failures: "Thou knowest, Lord"
If you've been reading my blog for the past couple months, you know I'm in the middle of a series of posts about how things from our past can entangle us and hinder us from serving God in the here and now. (Please see Kingdom-Obsessed People don't keep looking in the rear view mirror.)
As of late, God has been showing me how much I continue to remain obsessed about my past failures rather than being obsessed with Christ and His Kingdom. I've been thinking and writing a lot about failure and searching the heart of God and the Scripture to help me deal with failure in a Biblical way, so I do plan to post more about it in the coming days...But for today, I'd just like to introduce the topic. I pray that by His resurrection power at work in us, God might free those of us who struggle with being slaves to past failure, so we might freely offer ourselves to be bondservants of Christ without fear.~Karen
Over the past couple weeks I've been having a running conversation with God about my failures. (See also my last post.)
"Why did You allow me to fail?"
"Can You really redeem my failures?"Don't try to make sense of things. Just trust Me.
Romans 8:28
Romans 11:36
Hebrews 11:1, 6
Hebrews 12:1-2The thing is, I want to make sense of things. I don't like loose ends. I want closure today.
I don't know about you, but there are times when God tells me things like "Just trust Me" or "Wait on Me," and I want to pull my hair out.
Some days I liken my life to a million piece puzzle whose pieces have been strewn across time and space. I want God to put all the pieces of my life together today, so I can make some sense of it. All my sins. All my mistakes. All my failures. There are far more questions than answers.
Some say the Christian life is like a tapestry, but while we're here on earth it looks like a mess because all we can see is the backside with all its knots and loose ends. While we're here we can't see the finished tapestry.
I picture my life as a floor-to-ceiling tapestry hanging backside out. Some days I get so frustrated with what I see today. I can see myself sneaking up to that tapestry and trying to turn it over to see the finished side, but when I do so, I find it's far too big and far too heavy for me...
...And at just the time when I've become exhausted from repeatedly trying to turn the tapestry over, I catch a glimpse of my Father who's been watching over me. I quickly drop the edge of tapestry I'd been clutching.My Father's voice calls to me, "Not yet, my little one. That's right, let it go. Trust Me. The fullness of time has not yet come. My timing is perfect. I am watching over you to perform what I have promised. My plans for you are good, even though it may not seem like it today. Do you not trust My goodness and My love for You? Wait on Me that you might renew your strength. Karen, remember I have promised you that all things are working together for your good. O, you of little faith. Remember: I am Almighty God and I have the power to perform what I have promised. It seems impossible to you that I can take all your failures, sins and mistakes and weave something beautiful out of them. Remember I am the Lord. With men this is impossible, but with Me all things are possible."
And the Son says, "My sister, I understand your temptation to question and shrink from our Father's plan, but trust that He knows what He is doing. His will is always best. Delight to do His will and commit yourself to Him and trust Him and love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. He will never disappoint. He always keeps His promises. I know you are weary and heavy laden, but that's why I'm here for you. I am interceding for you to strengthen your faith and to sustain and uphold you through confusing times such as these. And, that thing about redeeming your failures––don't worry a thing about that––after all I am your Redeemer."
And the Holy Spirit says, "Remember that you have been adopted into our family. You have been accepted in the Beloved. You are a child of God so you can cry out, 'Abba, Father' at any time. There is no need for you to fear the Father's plan for you no matter how perplexing things may seem to you today. I am with you always to comfort you. When you look at your failures, you forget the truth about Your Savior. I am here to remind you of the truth about who He is and who you are in the Son. Be listening to My voice, not the voice of your failures. Be filled with Me so I might bring you joy and hope in believing, so you might abound in hope through My power when you're feeling hopeless, when you can't yet see the finished tapestry of your life."
Karen, when I say all things work together for your good, remember that "all things" includes your failures. I am the Lord Your God. Is anything too hard for Me? Yes, I work through your successes, but I also work through your failures. And I have ordained both your successes and your failures for My glory because after all, all things are about My glory.
Forgive me for doubting Your goodness.Forgive me for doubting Your power.
Forgive me for doubting Your sovereignty.
Forgive me for doubting Your love.
Forgive me when I keep putting myself in Your place.
Forgive me that I lack hope.
Forgive me for walking by sight.
Forgive me for my lack of faith.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. 4 By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks. 5 By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Hebrews 11:1-6.
* * *After I'd reflected on these things, the verse from Colossians 1 about Christ having the preeminence (1:18) came to mind (the Spirit was doing His work), so I opened my Bible and read:
For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence. Colossians 1:9-18.
...that in all things He may have the preeminencethat in my successes He may have the preeminencethat in my failures He may have the preeminence
...that in all things He may have the preeminenceThe shattered and scattered pieces of my life, the unfinished tapestry...the failures, mistakes and sins...they began to make sense...and they do make sense when I remember God's grand design...
...that in all things He may have the preeminence2 “I know that You can do everything,
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.3 You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.4 Listen, please, and let me speak;
You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’5 “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You.6 Therefore I abhor myself,
And repent in dust and ashes.”
(Job 42:1-6)Thou Knowest, Lord
(Henry W. Hawkes, 1898)Thou knowest, Lord, Thou know’st my life’s deep story,
And all the mingled good and ill I do;
Thou seest my shame, my few stray gleams of glory,
Where I am false and where my soul rings true.Lord, I am glad Thou know’st my inmost being,
Glad Thou dost search the secrets of my heart;
I would not hide one folly from Thy seeing,
Nor shun Thy healing touch to save the smart.Like warp and woof the good and ill are blended,
Nor do I see the pattern that I weave;
Yet in Thy love the whole is comprehended,
And in Thy hand my future lot I leave.Only, dear Lord, make plain the path of duty;
Let not my shame and sorrow weigh me down,
Lest in despair I fail to see its beauty,
And weeping vainly, miss the victor’s crown.
You may also be interested in:
Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
RSS feed
Comments (3)
Quite timely material there--especially given the election's only 2 weeks away now.
@WLCALUM--I hadn't thought of what I was writing in that regard, but certainly...
...the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will. (Daniel 4:25)...
Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, 5 and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood 6 and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (Revelation 1:4-6)
Though things in this world will not always make sense to us (His ways are higher than ours), we have the assurance God is sovereign over all. He reigns! Nothing will thwart His plan and purposes.
Comforting words Beautiful words His Word is Truth John 17:17