November 26, 2007
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Reasons for Thanks Giving, Part 5: Unanswered Prayer
A few weeks ago I had a check engine light go on in my van. I spoke with a service advisor about this; he told me that as long as the van was driving fine I should drive it for a few more days since there are occasions when the computer indicates something is wrong, but in reality there may actually be nothing wrong--and if that were the case, after enough driving time the computer might actually reset itself and the warning light would go off on its own.
My prayer at that point was that the light would go off.
I would start the car.
I would look at the dashboard.
The light was on.
I drove the car. I parked the car.
I would start the car again.
I would look at the dashboard in anticipation--much like a child awaiting Santa on Christmas Eve.
That light was still on.
This little game went on for a few days.
The end result: that light was still on and it wasn't going off.
Resigned to the reality that that light was still on and wasn't going off, I called to make an appointment to have my van checked.
In the meantime, and even on the day I drove the van to the service center that morning, I was reminding God, "You know God, You can make that light go off. I know You can do that..."
Having arrived at the service center, that light still did not go off, so I left the car and went about my day's business.
I have tried to focus on praying for daily bread rather than one, five or ten or twenty years' worth of bread. (I find this a daily struggle.) After I left the car and as I was awaiting the diagnosis, I was praying that God would provide the daily bread to cover this cost.
A few hours later, I got the call: "Your catalytic converter needs to be replaced..."
Gulp. Well, that's not the answer I wanted to hear, but I really wasn't surprised since I knew that light was still on and had not gone out. At that point, I'm thinking something like, "Ok, Father, please provide the daily bread for this need."
The voice on the other end of the phone continued, "...but since your van doesn't have that many miles on it, and these usually don't start failing until around 120,000 miles (my van has about 80,000 on it now, the extended warranty just having expired a few months ago), we called to see if Honda would cover it. So here's what we can do for you: if you pay the labor, they will cover the cost of the parts. You're really getting a deal here..."
Most certainly. I got a deal.
Yes, the deal for the converter itself.
But the bigger deal was seeing God do exceedingly abundantly above all that I could have asked or thought.[1]
Now I can put on the glasses of hindsight and ask: What would have brought God more glory--to have had the light go out on its own or to have the light remain on?
Yet my prayer was for that light to go out on its own.
What would have brought God more glory? Martha's desire was for Jesus to have come and heal her brother from his sickness. What would have brought God more glory--to have had Jesus heal Lazarus from his sickness or for Lazarus to die?
What would have brought God more glory? Paul pleaded three times with the Lord to take away his thorn in the flesh. What would have brought God more glory--to have Paul's thorn taken away or for that thorn to remain?
What would have brought God more glory? Jesus, being sorrowful unto death and sweating great drops of blood in the garden, prayed three times to His Father that if it were possible to let the cup pass from Him. What would have brought God more glory--to have that cup taken away or for Jesus to have drunk that cup to the full?
God's ways are so much higher than ours and one thing we must remember is that God is not first and foremost in the business of meeting our needs and making us feel good, happy and comfortable. God is not simply about making check engine lights go out, healing sicknesses, removing thorns or taking away cups of suffering. God is not like Santa Claus who comes down the chimney leaving behind all the presents the little girls and boys have requested in their letters to Santa. Certainly our Father cares for and loves His children and certainly He knows all about those lights, the sicknesses, the thorns and the cups. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
God's desire is that His chosen people proclaim His praises and be to the praise of His glory. The way we most show forth His praises and bring Him glory is when we come to no longer trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead and freely proclaim that without Him we can do nothing. To joyously announce that we can do nothing to justify ourselves and we can do nothing to sanctify ourselves--it is all the work of God through Jesus Christ. Those are the good tidings of great joy the angels brought to the shepherds almost 2000 years ago.
Each and every circumstance that comes my way is not by accident or just a twist of fate, but is sovereignly ordained by God. The Bible tells us that our God is working all things together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Part of that purpose is that I am conformed to the image of His Son, that I come out looking more and more like Jesus, i.e.-that there would be less and less dross and more and more gold. When faced with daily frustrations such as that light not going out, I forget that. My first instinct is to be rid of the momentary affliction. I forget that even that light not going out is working a far more eternal weight of glory, and I forget to ask the Holy Spirit for grace to count it all joy and for wisdom to help me see how such frustrations are the Father's divine instruments to mold and make me into the image of His Son. I need to be reminded time and again that His grace is sufficient for me.
Instead of setting my mind on things above, I focus on things below and ask God to make my personal kingdom run smoothly, or in this case, I ask to have my van run smoothly and have that light go out...So instead of my praying God would be glorified and believing that He would do exceedingly above all that I can ask or imagine, I simply pray that that light would go out...
Andrew Murray's [2] words remind me my view of God is far too small:
Learn to worship God as the God who does wonders, who wishes to prove in you that He can do something supernatural and divine. Bow before Him, wait upon Him, until your soul realizes you are in the hands of a divine and almighty worker. Consent but to know what and how He will work. Expect it to be something altogether godlike, something to be waited on in deep humility, and received only by His divine power. Let the, "And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee" become the spirit of every longing and every prayer. He will in His do His work.
Dear soul, in waiting on God you may often be weary, because you hardly know what to expect. I pray you, be of good courage--this ignorance is one of the best signs. He is teaching you to leave all in His hands, and to wait on Him alone. "Wait on the Lord! Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yea, wait thou on the Lord."
My soul wait thou only upon God!God employs the frustrations we meet daily to test our faith so it might come out genuine and pure and be found to praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ. Our responses to daily frustrations demonstrate whose kingdom we seek, what we are minding and how much we resemble Christ. Certainly if our faith wavers in these times of daily frustration, in the daily grind, how can it possibly stand strong in the more trying times of failure, financial hardship, job loss, rejection, conflict, separation, prodigal children, illness, disability or death? (Or, on the other hand, how can our faith possibly stand strong in the even more challenging times of success, financial boon, job promotion, recognition, reconciliation, compliant children, good health, fitness, or new life--those times of prosperity when it is too easy for us be like those in the Laodicean church who thought they were rich and had all they needed {but in reality were poor and naked} and subsequently became lukewarm toward God?)
So often I find that I am no different than the Israelites who doubted God's provision and tested Him in the desert:
Marvellous things did he in the sight of their fathers, in the land of Egypt, in the field of Zoan. 13 He divided the sea, and caused them to pass through; and he made the waters to stand as an heap. 14 In the daytime also he led them with a cloud, and all the night with a light of fire. 15 He clave the rocks in the wilderness, and gave them drink as out of the great depths. 16 He brought streams also out of the rock, and caused waters to run down like rivers. 17 And they sinned yet more against him by provoking the most High in the wilderness. 18 And they tempted God in their heart by asking meat for their lust. 19 Yea, they spake against God; they said, Can God furnish a table in the wilderness? 20 Behold, he smote the rock, that the waters gushed out, and the streams overflowed; can he give bread also? can he provide flesh for his people?-Psalm 78:12-20"Is the LORD among us, or not?"-Exodus 17:7The Father's ways of providing daily bread for His children are inscrutable and unsearchable but they are rooted in Him getting maximum glory and in His Son, the slain Lamb of God, being exalted. His desire is for us to make much of Him--to come to our knees in total dependence and reliance on Him--so we might worship Him and Him alone. God's desire is for us to trust Him alone and to "wait on Him alone." What brings God glory is not for us to make much of ourselves, not for us to be self-satisfied, self-sufficient, and self-reliant. God is glorified when Christ truly becomes our all in all: when we become as little children and come to Him as little children. Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. That we might say, "I can NOT handle it." That we might see ourselves as children of our heavenly Father--children who are helpless and weak; poor and needy; hungry and thirsty; harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd; distressed, in debt and discontented; unclean and undone; faint, weary and falling; ash-covered and mourning; laboring and heavy laden. God is most glorified when we become utterly dependent on and wholly sustained through the merciful and gracious hand of our heavenly Father who feeds, keeps and leads us for Christ's sake:
Truly, You alone are God. You alone are worthy. Jehovah-Jireh, I am not worthy to receive even a single crumb of Your grace, much less a loaf of bread for this day. You alone are the source of my life and my daily bread. You are the source of my salvation. Apart from the cross, I would be consumed by Your wrath. I am not worthy to be called Your child. But by Your grace I have been adopted into Your family by the blood and body of Christ--not by my own merit and not by my own will--Your body and blood are what bids me come and approach Your throne of mercy and grace with boldness. I am not worthy to be called Your child, but You have made me worthy. I am not worthy receive anything from Your hand, but only through Your Son Jesus Christ, who ever lives to intercede for me and is able to save me to the uttermost and preserve me for Your Kingdom. You continue to extend Your hand to me, even after I slap Your hand, rebel and turn up my nose at what You offer me. Forgive me for being obstinate and stiff-necked toward You. I praise You that through the cross, You continue to be longsuffering toward me and shower mercy and grace upon me and continue to provide me with daily bread. Through the cross, You continue to satisfy my empty soul and fill my open mouth with good things.
I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people, which walketh in a way that was not good, after their own thoughts; A people that provoketh me to anger continually to my face...-Isaiah 65:2-3aThe LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. 9 He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. 10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. 11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. 12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. 13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. 14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.-Psalm 103:9-14I thank and praise You, Father, for adopting me as Your child.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that You do not always answer my prayers the way I think they ought to be answered.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that You know what I need before I ask.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You Father, that You answer the prayers I don't even think of praying.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that You continue to extend Your hand of mercy and grace to me in spite of my doubts, defiance and disobedience.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, for glorifying Yourself through unanswered prayer.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that Your ways are higher than mine.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that You can do exceeding abundantly above all I can ask or think.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that You will help me become like a child and pray like a child.
Hallowed be Your Name!I thank and praise You, Father, that You will help me live like a child who trusts in and waits on You alone.
Hallowed be Your Name!
[1] A whole other thing about the timing of this car repair: if I had not been driving the extra miles out of town to the Nehemiah study each week this fall, I am estimating that this check engine light would probably have gone on about the time we would be traveling for the Christmas holidays...[2] Andrew Murray, "Waiting on God" (Chicago: Moody), 70-71. (My copy is a paperback book in which there is no year listed. I purchased it from sale book rack at a library for a quarter--yet another one of God's gracious provisions to me.)
Scripture quotations are from the King James Version.
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